Fishing For Gifts (Warning: Lots Of Exlaimation and/or Question Marks)

While there is nothing wrong with that, normally... I used to do that with my dad and now my husband all the time lol... but when I don't know you and not have met you, I do have a serious problem with that.

The husband's father's second wife's grand daughter from her first marriage is graduating from college. Big phucking deal! So has the rest of the American population - yes, even the really stupid ones... this might be the second or third 'invitation' or 'announcement' we've gotten from these two sisters. Why(?!), I don't know. I mean, I know(!)... they're trying to get money out of us, of course! But hello!??! Who are these people who keep sending us these annoying kind of mail?! The husband has met them once at his sister's wedding almost ten years ago. That's it! They were not invited to our wedding. In fact, the thought of inviting them NEVER occured to us. They are NOT family. ...and to be quite honest, even 'some' family who were invited weren't that interested lol! But no... these people who keep sending these 'notices' are not even mere acquaintance for crying out loud! They wouldn't recognize neither of us if we walked right by us on the street... might not even give us directions if we asked hahahaha! Okay, I'm being difficult but you get what I mean. It's disgusting! She's graduating from college and sending these silly things out to strangers... doesn't that embarass her?! Gawd I'm embarassed for her!


Of course we're not sending crap to her. It's not personal - so if you're reading this... oh what's your name - gotta' go to the trash and get the card and see what her name is (lol)... Tara... don't take it personally lol. We didn't send your sister anything either hahaha! Besides, haven't you guys gotten enough from your rich grandmother (they are the ones who when each of them turned the legal age, wanted to spend it with their rich grandmother and psuedo grandfather, my husband's father. I mean... GET A PHUCKING LIFE ALREADY! Even I wouldn't make it THAT obvious lol! What do you need from us!? Maybe your crazy grandmother put you up to this... but come on already! You're graduating from college... I'd think you have developed half a brain to make simple decisions about who to send mail like that to. Yeesh!

Of course, mail like this always makes me question why Americans send out announcements as such. People who care will ask or be informed when they're on the phone or via email... you know... people who care will keep in contact with you 'coz they want to. ...and those who don't ask, they don't care. Trust me. Besides, when you graduate from high school or college, what business is that of anyone outside the immediate family?! High school grads especially. Uh... what's the big deal?! You want people to give you a graduating gift 'coz you're graduating from bloody high school?! OMG - that is soooo sorry ass! It's just high school... is this graduation going to be the highest point of your life!? ...and that gawd awful looking 'class ring' that Americans wear... high school or college... double YUK!!!!!!

Ok, I've said my piece about these tacky people lol. Can you blame me? Maybe it's a difference in culture... maybe it's just the husband and I who are selfish and don't care about anything that doesn't involve us lol. But I would like to add that there are kids out there we care about... who are not blood relatives. Emily Schulze for example. We like her and she is graduating from high school next month and we're going to her party in Seattle. So we're not really as cold blooded as you think we are lol. Yes yes, maybe I am... but not the king lol.

Fun At Germantown Business Expo...

Today, after my workout at Germantown Centre (and no, I stopped losing weight months ago), I was dragged by my Russian friend, Natasia, to go check out the Germantown Business Expo that was running in the basketball courts. I didn't have anything else better to do so I went.

First thing I saw when I walked into the event hall...

...uh huh... my my don't we have a bunch of very educated local businesses in town lol! I pointed it out to Natasia and she looked like me like 'huh?'. Ok, I think I've been hanging out with the king too much... 'coz I turned around and the next booth I see... you'd think that if you own a business or run a business, you'd know how to spell 'sign'! ...or at least use spell check?!?! AIYOH!

I have never been to any business expos before. I mean... why?! So you can see a bunch of booths with people talking amongst themselves and a table filled with not-so-goodies that you will take on impulse and trash them when you get home? ...and while most people were nice and courteous enough, we also had people like this condescending bitch (picture below with Natasia) from the Hilton Select Group who was so rude to Natasia I wanted to bop her one. Natasia was asking a couple of questions about the hotel and this woman was not only short, she brushed Natasia to one side when other people came over to the booth. Thankfully, Natasia speaks loud lol and said in her strong Russian accent, 'I'm note don speaking!' I wanted to laugh out loud. Ok, I did lol. Natasia then insisted on playing the win-a-goldfish game. She wanted to win the fish to feed it to the fishes in her fish tank, she admitted aloud lol! So she did. I mean, a line of people in front of us couldn't even get close - and neither could I. ...and here is Natasia... she wins the silly fish on her first try. Boy, the look on Miss Redneck. It was too cool!


It was funny to see a bunch of my fellow exercisers walk into this expo not-as-blindly as I did and were ready to go free shopping. The Indian girls in particular - yes, again, it's the Indian with the dot on the forehead, not the casino ones - went to town and by the third booth, had a big enough bag to get a week's of grocery. But Natasia beat them all hands down at the end of ninety minutes lol!

The whole thing was quite a comedy fest to me actually... like when I got to ask a few questions to the Direct TV folks... none of which they could answer of course. When they eagerly presented me with a pamphlet, they handed me a Korean languaged one lol. I, of course was asking about their Chinese channels. Maybe it just says on my forehead 'I love Korean drama' lol. Then there were the very friendly people at the Commercial Appeal booth (local newspapers). When they saw me taking a picture of the cute comic strip umbrella they were giving away, one of them (the Barbie looking one) jumped in front of me and exclaimed (yes, she did exclaim, really!) "you could have the umbrella for a one year subscription!!". I looked back, all bright eyed and almost as excitedly as she approached me, "no thank you - we were the ones who called to ask you to stop delivering free newspapers to us a few months ago". Boy, I am such a bitch!!! LOL! Besides, it wasn't even that cute an umbrella. The ten Chinese yuan umbrella I bought in Shanghai (picture below) is much cuter :)


It really wasn't all bad... we had fun spinning the wheel-of-free-stuff at Chik Fil-A... we got a free can of the limited edition, due out this summer, Pepsi Summer Mix... sampled too much food; yes, a catering company was there and they had the chocolate fountain out - smart! So was Neely's BBQ who offered us a bbq sandwich (yum but it would have been too messy), Sweet Peppers Deli
was also there but offered nothing except a photo shot of Peppers himself...
and the group from Super Suppers served peanut butter fudge and black bean corn chicken salad on tortilla chips. Can't ever go wrong with free food :)

Hell Is More Fun

It's too easy for me to get in trouble. Way too easy. This was the conversation I had with this old lady at the gym who insisted on starting a conversation with of-all-people, moi. Didn't her mother teach her not to speak to strangers?! :D

She: I've been looking at your bag - what does it mean?
Me: Mean?
She: Well it's got a bunch of characters on it and it's very unique.
Me: It's hell...
She: Hey-ell? Now why would you want a bag that says heyell?
Me: 'Coz it's more fun
She: Now why would you say heyll is more fun? That's silly!
Me: 'Coz all Americans seem to think they're gonna' go to heaven
She: You're funny... (eyeing me suspiciously while walking away)
Me: (thinking) should have taken a jab on religious people here instead but oh well...

This is the bag that has been quite the topic at the gym. Young people love it, old people frown upon it and kids think it's Pokemon lol.

I already have another one of these Le Sportsac Tokidoki bags to replace this one (no, of course it's not heaven lol) but I'm waiting for this one to wear out it's novelty :)

Highlight Of Singapore Day

This will be the first time (and probably the last lol) that you'd ever hear me cheering the fact that someone (well, not anyone of course - this was the Deputy Prime Minister of Singapore, Mr Wong Kan Seng) mentioned Memphis :) It was pretty cool considering only TWO people flew out from Memphis and it was us hee hee

Sun Burnt At Central Park

...so the Singapore Day came and went and as low as our expectations were, I can safely say we had a very nice time. The glitches were many but hopefully, the organizers will have learnt from this one and conduct a smoother experiance for Singaporeans attending future similar events.

Saturday morning started out very slowly and a little painful after a night out with Boon, Alycia, Yishen and Julia at a small izakaya in the East Village called Kasadela. Three bottles of sake (bloody waitress warned the king 'your wife drank a lot' arrgh), some beer and a lot of food later (I suppose it beats her saying 'your fat wife ate a lot' lol), the king and I headed back to the hotel only to stop unexpectedly at Carnagie Deli. I don't think we were hungry - but Japanese drinking culture has trained our palettes to crave ramen after a late night out lol. Plus I had to take the biggest piss of my life. Yes, truly - it was THE biggest! ...and of course we couldn't leave without ordering an infamously big sandich. Hey - don't judge us! We were drunk - ok, I was drunk! ...and not used to drinking so much unfiltered and unpasturized sake. So after two bites into my awesome burger (with nothing but raw onion - the way I like my burgers) and a couple of fries, I was ready for bed. That was three in the morning.

I find myself standing under the shower at 6:10am... trying to wash the alcohol out of my brain with a really hot shower. It was not a hangover but I was literally still drunk then! The king got up shortly after I got dressed. We were tired already before the day began. Nothing a three shot espresso at Starbucks couldn't help lol. Gen, who lives in the city came to meet us at the hotel and the three of us, in full Singapore style, trotted out of our hotel way before 9am for the 10:30am event at central park; a short two block walk away from Le Parker Meridian.

It was the perfect day for an outdoor event. Blue skies, mild temperature (well, at 8 in the morning it was still pretty mild) and of course, the three of us got to Wollman Rink too early. The only people at the park were dog owners (and their dogs of course, DUH!), a bunch of security for the Singapore Day event and a bunch of young Singaporean helpers for the occasion in bright Sunkist orange tees who looked pretty lost themselves. It was slow and nobody - not even the friendly security guy - knew what was going on. We hung out for a little, killed some time at Starbucks in Trump Tower and by the time we got back at almost ten, there was a kind of line slowly forming. People huddled around the entrance but not really standing in line for fear of being called 'kiasu' - directly translated from hokkien (a Chinese dialect) - 'afraid of losing'. But. kiasu or not, we of course quickly found the most strategic line (there were about ten people in line) and people just followed behind us instantaneously. Before we knew it, this was what we saw when we turned around.

The event started 30 mins later then the predicted 10:30am but once it started moving, it was smooth and pretty uneventful. We all got stamped with a 'redeemed' stamp on our hands and a red 'I heart SG' being Singaporean and the king got the black version. It was most exciting... well, not really but the smell of food lured us around the corner into the real event space where an empty stage stood at one end and a good dozen stalls stood at another. The rest in the middle was empty concrete space. That's right, no chairs, no benches, no tables, nothing. But without much ado, the three of us hurried into the first line. The chwee kueh line. We each got one chwee kueh (yes ONE), got out of line, ate it and went on to the chicken rice line. These lines were so short we got spoiled very quickly. One thing we all noticed imediately, serviettes, chilli sambal, garnish and plastic-silverware were all free flow. WAH! How un-Singaporean-like lol! Even the king held on to his first set of chopsticks for fear of them running out. Bloody kiasu angmoh!! :D


Within an hour, the crowd multiplied by severel hundreds then thousands and the heat also multiplied in it's intensity. By the time the king had his mutton prata and we got our laksa, we were drained and sun burnt. Yes, it turned out that the king in all his ang moh style, got burnt on his forehead, nose and neck. I got burnt on my chest area (where else lol) and Gen who wore her little pretty ballerina flats now has feet that are shaped like she's wearing her shoes constantly. It was hilarious!

All in all, we had a nice time together; eating, standing in line, eating, standing in line... you get the idea. The sucky ass not-so-goody, goody bag was worst then I predicted lol! It was so lame it's the biggest joke among the Singaporeans who attended this day. Still, a bag of five stones, a pack of rubber bands to make yourself a ye-ye/zero point, some fridge magnets and a pack of mints in a big ass bag marked 'I heart Sg' was more sad then anything I could have imagine. But, there was a 20% discount off OSIM products (osim now owns Brookstone) and so... we got ourselves an isqueeze :D Something good actually came out of that bag - hard to imagine... lol!

I eagerly wait for the second Singapore Day - if there's gonna' be another one, that is. Must have cost Singapore tax payers a bunch! But hey, if they're trying to do everything to lure some of us back, well, they gotta' do a lot more than just twelve hawkers, Kit Chan or Hossan Leong - WE WANT SELENA TAN (inside joke)... and a much more luxurious goody bag hahahaha!

Off To NYC

It's finally Friday! My goodness, how I've waited for this day since we returned from Seattle. It's been awhile since I last went to New York City to hang out. The king will come along this time. Yes, it's the much awaited first inaugural Singapore Day tomorrow at Central Park. It should be interesting though the three of us, with each passing day, have lower expectations then the last. Sad isn't it?! When I heard that the Prime Minister's Office was organizing this event (well, the OSU is part of the PM's office) I had high hopes. I mean, it's a bunch of smart and kiasu Singaporean sewer serpents (civil servants). For sure it'll be seriously well organized. Oh well, so far, it's been one glitch after another on their website. From a free-flow come-as-you-are open-event at Bryant Park, it became a for-registered-Singaporeans only but because of improper wordings on their website, it is now, if-you-are-not-a-Singaporean-but-registered-before-the-rules-changed-come-anyway. Aggravating. So a bunch of Singaporeans who have planned on going but did not register for the goodie bags prior to the change no longer are able to go to this event 'coz they have closed registrations. Sad especially if you live in the city and I'm sure the smell of the food will be detected miles away lol. Ouch!

Tonight, we're meeting up with Boon. Boon is my baby brother's friend back from RJC. I don't remember when was the last time I saw Boon... donkey years ago, of course, but it'll be fun. We're going to an izakaya called Kasadela. I'm sure we'll have fun. Good food, good sake, nice company... can't go wrong.

Tomorrow of course will be Singapore Day itself and then we head back to Memphis Sunday afternoon - not without brunch and tah bao'ing (打包) stuff from Bo Ky and Tai Pan lol! It's my NYC-Chinatown tradition :)

Time to go pick the husband up from school and head to the airport!

I Love Twitter

Twitter (the little twitter box on the right hand corner in this blog - scroll down) is all pretty self-explanatory. Nothing to 'get into'. You follow your friends - or people you find interesting ie, fake Borat or fake and very vain, David Hasselhoff - even a fake Bill Clinton lol!

So join the king (here) and I (here), our friends and their friends (by clicking on their pictures at our sites) and see what we're all doing, saying or where we're going 'live' :D

Plus, if you're tired of texting your friends, it's always good to have somewhere/someone to text when you're sitting/standing around waiting on something to happen :) ...or when you just want to bitch and no one around you wants to listen - that seems to happen to me a lot lol!

Last Night @ Sushi

Our second night in a row at Sekisui Collierville. Like the husband says, I, too, feel like we're cheating on Sekisui Cordova lol. Nonetheless, I suppose Jimmy Ishi gets the last laugh (he is owner of all the Sekisui restaurants)...

We sort of twittered down a play by play at dinner from our cellphones. Our delicious dinner that consisted of pretty good sashimi (for Memphis standards) and a couple of homemade Taiwanese 'cakes' and dumplings familiar to me even though I am not from Taiwan. However, the company consisting of a three couple crowd with us at the sushi bar was far from desirable.

kryan70 sushi/- taiwanese tapas for dinner at sekisui about 20 hours ago from web

brucery - Severe thunderstorm warning, possible hail... time to head out for dinner. :)

kryan70 - Waiting @ sekisui 4 sushi bar

brucery - Inauspicious start - lost reservation. It has to get better from here?

brucery - Listening to drunk mountain tortoises tell loud stories

brucery - Woman asks sushi chef to write her name in Japanese, not realizing he's Taiwanese and knows none

kryan70 - Dumbass people @ sushi bar with us...

kryan70 - Why don't these fools leave?! So not funny and obnoxious!

kryan70 - Qotd: ' i'm like june cleaver with my kids ' - says one dumbass to another

brucery - About to leave the braintrust here at the sushi bar and go get ice cream.

brucery - Talking with ADD sushi chef who always interrupts me and never finishes his own sentences

brucery - At Schnuck's buying ice cream. Yes, we have a grocery called Schnuck's. Mmm ice cream

kryan70 - home in one piece! crazy night at sushi - irritating stupid drunk driving locals who took their wine to go...

Lost Videos

In case you're looking for the videos that were posted last month from our (drunk) adventures in Shinjuku... well, you might have to go subscribe to the king's account here.

Funny thing: His students found his crazy videos today (probably via the spelling bee one he had originally) and the word got around and his principal - not the idiot headmaster, thankfully - suggested maybe he took it off the public eye before word got around to the religious hypocrite of a fool(s) - there are a bunch of them in school. Unfortunately, that has affected my blog too. Looks like I need to take videos for my own blog from now on.

So from less then ten views it initially had (he only has two subscribers lol), a couple of his videos has gotten more than 50 hits today lol. One student boldly added him as subscriber hahahaha! Bloody audacity lol!

Update On Singapore Day

While I have been anticipating my trip to New York City (next weekend) to 'celebrate' the first ever Singapore Day with my fellow Singaporeans - ok, I'd admit, it's for the food (what's new?!); it hasn't been easy dealing with the bloody organizers. Not directly per se... but you'd understand why...

Today, seven days from d-day, I hear, not from their official website, but an email from a New York City expat group that I subscribe to on yahoo, that Singapore Day has moved their location from Bryant Park to Wollman Rink at Central Park. What?! The email certainly woke me up this morning. I was not the least bit amused. While it's fine for people living in the city and even for those driving up from surrounding cities for the day, people like the king and I who are flying out there made hotel reservations at the Bryant Park hotel namely for this event! Ok, we might be the only idiots flying to NYC for this event... actually, no... I know people flying in from California and Nevada, so if you want to talk about insanity, they're more insane then we are 'coz they're farther away :) Their reason for changing location - Bryant Park is surrounded by roads and with the 'overwhelming' response, they don't want people on the streets. Like we are such idiots omg! So overwhelming is the response, a newspaper article said 5000, and this morning, one article say 3000 and their official website, expecting a total of one thousand of us. ...not only that, they seem to change the hours of this event constantly. Now, there are different sites saying it starts at 10am, some say 11am... who knows what the official website says. One more stupid thing. Goody bags are only for Singaporeans! WHAT!? Come on! Ok, so the goody bag might only contain a face towel and a bottle of water (you don't know Singaporeans lol) but that is being so lame and calculative! It's completely moronic! But as the king says, 'if they want to be completely stupid, you might as well get a goody bag for it' hahahaha! ...so I have to bring my bloody passport?! Dumbasses!

Obviously, we've changed our hotel reservations and expedia was nice enough to accomodate us without penalty - for a change lol. So let's see what happens from here. Considering they had an article in the Singapore newspaper about importing twelve hawkers from home to Bryant Park to cook us goodies just days ago, who knows what other plans might change. Any more changes I'm dissin' the event and I'm going to Gyu Kaku for some yummy looking yakiniku lol!

When I'm Working Out...

Do you ever wonder what people are thinking about while working out? I mean, sure, they have their earphones plugged-in to their ipods, CNN, Good Morning America... via the exercise machines. But what are they really thinking about when their minds start drifting...

Well, I can't tell you what most people are thinking about but other then concentrating on the second hand tick away too too slowly on the clock when I'm in spinning class, getting frustrated at every rock song being played (noisy rock songs - they sound so angry(!) - make me want to break the bikes) and wishing the damn bikes would stop screeching (they are not very well maintained) I think of, what else, lunch lol. Yes, food. The reason why I work out. Well, okay, that's not actually accurate. I work out to lose weight so I can fit into my clothes better. So far, there's been very slight difference... but the fact that I'm working out makes my family happy. I guess they don't want me to drop dead or something lol. But I do think about food a lot while I'm working out. My lunch in particular... sometimes, the apple or banana sitting in my bag waiting for class to be over so I can eat it. Or even the sorry ass bottle of water screaming out for some attention right after each song is over - how I crave water - yes, only during spinning class.

Am I addicted to food? The ladies on The View say I am. Of course, they also say I'm depressed and use sugar as a cover-up for my negative emotions. I should stop watching them lol. I'm beginning to believe them - sometimes. I still hate that Hasselback girl - whatever her name is. I refuse to learn it. Everyone else is fine. Even crazy Rosie. The young one just gets to me. ...but back to me... I must be the happiest depressed person around if they are right. Besides, what do I have to be depressed about? Oh, the neighborhood grocery store is out of my ice cream - maybe that's something to be depressed about. Ok, not really. But just 'coz a person is overweight; does that mean they're addicted to food or using food to cover up some form malfuctioning emotions? I like food. I love yummy food. But I won't just eat any bloody thing that you put in front of me. Okay, I might, but I wouldn't enjoy it.

When I'm working out, I'm also thinking (and watching from the corner of my eye) the person next to me. ...'coz you know, everybody's got a story. More importantly, are they going faster then me? Even if they're 93 year older then me, I want to beat them! Same as when I'm in the pool. Nobody beats me! ...and if they do, well, I guess they're just showing off lol. I suppose this sums up what my mind does most of the time when not thinking about food. Absolutely nothing! :D ...I need a snack lol

Easter 2007 In Seattle

We've been in the city since early Friday afternoon. The flight here on American was painless enough with the upgrade; though the flight back, executive platinum or not, we're gonna' have to go cattle class. Damn those people who are actually paying to go first class lol.

It's been a fun-filled past two full days. We're hanging out with good friends and obviously, like in Tokyo, that includes good food and cocktails :) Mmmm... cocktaayles!

Traditionally, the first meal we have upon arriving (usually lunch) - you guessed it - Shultzy's Sausage. Excuse me, the now bigger, new and improved Shultzy's Sausage!! JJ (Japanese Julie), who had lunch already, joined us and had fries (only); except these are the best fries in the world. Yes, of course I'm serious. I never joke about my food :) ...and with the very unexpected 80 degree heat, we were too easily seduced by Don's vodka-cranberry-lemonade. Yumz! I cleaned my plate swiftly and got to see familiar faces and of course, marvelled at how our godson continues to grow vertically.

...and traditionally, the king gets his haircut at Gary Manuel - next to his old apartment. Yes, we live in Memphis and he gets his haircut in Seattle and/or Tokyo lol. So while the king was busy, JJ and I took the drive over to ID (International District / Chinatown). Uwajimaya was uneventful though still fun... other than the fancily packed fresh produce like in Japan, live sea urchin as and when you'd like some, just-out-of-the-oven-baked Asian pastries, a whole aisle of sake and sochu... we can basically get everything I need back in Tennessee. Ok, I'll admit it. I'm always envious of the people who live in Seattle or cities with big Asian markets. It'll be a dream come true for me! Honestly!

Dinner at Saito's turned out be a good decision. I had the best uni I've had outside Japan and boy, was I thrilled :) Yes, by now, you realize that (good) sea urchin is one of my favorite things to eat. The king was sweet and got extra orders and after everyone had one more, I was left with the rest of the order. Mmmm... oooooooooo-niiiiiii! :) It turned out to be a relatively early night. Considering we had a 6am flight, woke up at 2am to pack (that would be Seattle time, midnight) and do the usual morning errands before taking off, we were beat. So dinner and cocktails ended at 11pm...

Day two, my shopping day. All retail stores are closed on Easter Sunday in Seattle (though I noticed Urban Outfitters, Addidas and Old Navy opened later). I had to do my thang at Eileen Fisher and Nordstrom. Unfortunately, both stores were a little disappointing. Of course I got stuff from EF but not overly satisfying... I got absolutely nothing from Nordstrom. No shoes, no bags :( The king did say to go ahead with all clothing but curb-it on the rest hahahhaa. I know, it shouldn't be Christmas everyday :) I did, however, surprisingly, find two pairs of casual sneakers at Nordstrom Rack. Happy happy joy joy!

The dinner that night at Metropolitan Grill. An old Seattle joint where the financiers of the city come and get their meat on. Omg, I, of all people got the 24oz of rib eye! Needless to say, the Shulze family got to have some serious leftovers. The only person who finished his steak was fifteen year old William, who at Easter dinner table the next evening, was still fantacizing about his meal from the night before lol. Yes, it was that good and you gotta' get the bananas foster for dessert. YUM!

Most of Easter Sunday morning was spent in the hotel room recovering from the late-night drinking session we had (yes, after the very heavy meal we had) with JJ at Marjeries. We hung out with a friend of JJ's, Peter, who was back in town for business (Amazon employee who works in Cape Town) and had a nice few hours of mojitos and good laughs. We finally left when JJ and boyfriend, Yoshi came to pick us up for dim sum brunch at O'Asian. Wow, thus far, my favorite dim sum place in town. ...and the rest of the day, we hung out with the Shulze family, their employees, friends and neighbors, easter egg hunting - I only found three eggs and no golden egg :( - but the king and I won at the gambling box later that evening lol!

All in all, another fun long weekend in Seattle. But that's no surprise anymore.

My Stalker Is Back

...I don't know if I should call her my stalker or my lesbian lover (read her email and you'd understand) lol. Either way, it's bloody disturbing for someone I call an ex-friend.

Some background info: we met about two years after I first moved to Tennessee. We were friends for less then two years. She was the boss among the three of us who hung out often. She became a dick right before she moved away. She came back and became a bigger ass! I cut her off cold turkey. She went back to W. Virginia and came back for yet another visit. By now, I'd cut her off. She left flowers at our front door (that went here) and a five page letter similar to the email below. ...and now, she's back.

So, ok. After you didn't respond to my letter last September, I tried to just go on and forget about it. I promised to leave you alone and I have. Everything was fine.

And then the American Idol season started. Every week I was thinking about you and missing the comments I used to hear about the contestants. Again, I tried to put it out of my mind and just leave you alone. My problem, not yours.

I was doing ok with that and then last night I had a dream where we were shopping at the mall and having lunch and everything was normal, like it always had been. It was so great being with you again (if only in my mind), that I had to write and tell you that I'm missing you a lot.

I mostly miss your sense of humor and laughing with you. I miss the yummy food you used to make for me that I know was made with love and friendship. I miss just hanging out and being with each other. I miss the unique way you have of seeing things and the advice you would give me. I miss your emails and hearing about your latest trip and adventure and about your niece and other family. I miss smiling when I think of you instead of having a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Again, I'm telling you that I would never deliberately say or do anything that would hurt or insult you. I care about you and respect you and just plain like you so much!!! I had my 50th birthday and you weren't a part of it. I missed you. Turning 50 has made me stop and reconsider my life both past and future. I honestly have very few regrets in my life, but losing your friendship tops my list. I've been having some health problems again and I would hate for something to happen to me and not have told you yet again how important you and your friendship are to me.

I know that we can't be friends in the same way. I moved. My friendship with Julie has changed. But we still talk on the phone a couple times a month and email each other. We try to get together when we can. We care about each other. She is planning on coming to see me this summer. How great it would be if you could come with her.

Do you think you might start out by emailing me a little now and then? We could try to repair things and start again. I MISS YOU! Please think about it.

Again, I'll wait to hear from you.

Stalker? Lesbian wannabe? No self-respect? You decide.

A Redneck Birthday

Poor Maria, practically still fresh from Maine, experiancing her first traumatic redneck birthday from the gang at the gym. They fully tp'd (toilet papered) her car, gave her 28 full-power spanks on her bum while held down by Ms Muscles, AD. All that and a birthday sign that read 'Happy Birthday Jackass!' How special she must feel lol.



...plus extra toilet paper hanging by the door just-in-case :)

Security drove by while Ms all-dat-'n-a-bag-of-chips was tp'ing the car and exclaimed 'I don't know if I should keep quiet or join you!' Welcome to redneckville Maria! You are truly loved :)

How Do You Fire A Cleaning Lady

I don't know if you know this, but we've had quite a few cleaning ladies since we moved into this house more than five years ago - gawd(!) I still can't believe I've lived in this State this long. Recently, I got yet another new one... Geena... I realize I have to fire her now but I feel like I need a better reason then the one I have...

The first cleaning ladies I hired were these two black ladies who worked full time at a child care centre. They came here after work in the evenings to clean and went on to work a baby-sitting job. They were very nice and cleaned well (enough) - yes, I'm very picky. I noticed after letting them try some Asian snacks one time that the more food and root beer I gave them, the lower the price to clean our house lol! Alas, as cheap as it was getting, the timing just wasn't good for us as they'd always be cleaning during our dinner hour. It wasn't that hard to let them go as the reason was legitimate and I personally thought they really needed some rest or spend time with their own kids at home lol. ...then K, the ex-friend, recommended Tracie. K told me that while she didn't think Tracie could ever become a friend 'coz she was, in-K's-words, 'white trash', she admitted that Tracie did a pretty good job cleaning her house even though she'd already found a replacement for her. Since I wasn't looking for a friend, I hired Tracie without much ado. Tracie was great... she did a really good job all the time, cleaned extra (knowing that I would pay her more going the extra mile). Tracie then worked for us for almost four years consecutively without fuss. We weren't friends but we got along and she'd tell me about the men she dates and about her horrible teenager kids. She even played bartender at our Chinese New Year parites. Unfortunately, due to a line of unforseen incidents, Tracie told me, first, she was given a great offer by a friend in the restaurant business in Mississippi and would have to quit cleaning. It was sad but it was a lot more money with benefits, so I relented. But she continued cleaning for me as her house was't sold for awhile. Eventually, even without the house being sold, she told me she had to move back to Alabama to take care of her ailing father (who had been sick on and off for at least the last two years to my knowledge). So that was that... except weeks later, I found out that Tracie and her boyfriend were arrested in Alabama for breaking an entry into one of her customer's house and took with them more than two hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of jewelry. What I heard next shocked me even more! Tracie had tested postive for cocaine! While I never left Tracie alone cleaning in the house, I can't say we have ever found anything missing... yes, I did have that bank issue a couple of summers ago but we're still not convinced it could have been her... I felt really bad... for Tracie. I mean, she must have been so desperate... so out of control... she was making good money cleaning a bunch of houses out here... why did she have to go get mixed up with this ass arrgh! All it takes is one wrong turn I suppose.

Next person I met, I liked a lot. Of course my mind fails me right now and I can't remember the name of this person I like a lot hahaha! Oh yes, Angie is her name lol. I met her when I was getting my hair done and talking about needing a new cleaning lady. Angie was standing right there and handed me her business card. Awesome! She started cleaning for me immediately and with Angie, I was almost never around when she cleaned. She was the best cleaner and I trusted her 100%! She even tidied up the house which I realized cleaning ladies don't do unlike the maids back home lol. Yes yes, I know, they are not maids (YAWN!). But Angie had always been an office bound person until she lost her 21 year old son a couple of years ago and needed a change of scenery... unfortunately, she didn't last long enough. A subdivision of some big courier firm offerred her a great package to work at home and Angie left. She was sweet and left me with a way out with Geena's contacts. She told me while she didn't know her, she knew Geena had been cleaning for a long time and was a friend of a friend.

So here I am stuck with Geena for the last couple of months. I can't say I like her as a person (not that I dislike her... but the vibes are negative I guess I'd say)... on her first meeting, before cleaning, she tells me everything she doesn't do nor bing her own cleaning supplies. Fine though I'd admit, up till now, everyone who had previously cleaned for me brought everything they needed. No laundry, no bed making, no ironing etc etc. No biggie. I always make my own bed anyway - or sometimes the king does it if he wants to be nice lol. But it just didn't really start out on the right foot telling me what you don't do instead of the other way round. ...another problem, she was cleaning with her shoes on. That bugs me when I don't even let my guests come in with shoes! After she'd cleaned the kitchen floor and left shoe prints all over one day, I knew she had to go! You don't just look like you're cleaning without being thorough. That annoys me. The second time she came, I left a note for her (she lets herself into the house usually) asking her to clean the deck and noted that I would pay her extra - even tho' I also told her not to clean some other parts of the house, almost the entire upstairs. Fine. She did a good job and I paid her an extra twenty bucks on top of the regular rate I usually would. Last week she came and as usual, I left a note for what she'd missed the previous time she was here and what she had to do extra. Again, I told her to clean the deck. When I walked in from the gym, I noticed she'd not cleaned the deck yet. We exchanged pleasantries and I realized she was kind of in a quiet mood... so I made small talk and eventually she went 'you know, I can't clean the deck every time for the amount of money you pay me. You'd have to pay me extra'. I was puzzled. Didn't I pay her the amount she asked for the last time she was here and gave her more?! I asked her this and she confirmed that I remembered right. Ok... so what's the bloody problem? When I told her that I would pay her extra - whatever amount she told me - she then became her usual chatty self again. That bugged the hell out of me! I'm not here to cheat you woman?! I never have... and the last thing I would do is to cheat you of a sorry ass twenty or thirty bucks! I just want you to do a job that I don't enjoy doing! SHIT!

On top of all that, what REALLY bugs me most about Geena is her heavy phlegmed smoker- cough. But I can't possibly say that she's being fired 'coz of her damn cough lol! So... somebody with experiance in firing cleaning ladies... how do I put it nicely... in a civil way - unlike the way I fired the yard guy a few years ago and thought he'd come back to kill me lol!! :)

Maybe The King Isn't the Most Loved

Despite the high ratings I've gotten from my friends about the king, my husband the teacher, I realized now that no matter how nice a person is, there are people out there who will hate your guts. Why do you think I resist being nice hahaha! People are gonna' call me names anyway, so I might as well enjoy being a beeeeeeee-itch(!) - and believe-me-you, life is much more fun and exciting this way.

So who hates the king? Hmmm... namely stupid people who are threatened by his brain. I'm not bragging here but he does have a crazy awesome brain - the personality is just a boost lol! I don't know if I should be writing this but shit, if he doesn't care that I write about his family, then I can write about people he works with hahaha. ...and if you get to read this and it disappears later (yes, of course I will put up a fight to keep this entry up hahaha), but if it disappears, you know why... Hopefully, he'll just laugh and ignore it like all my other horrible write-ups about his mom, my mil and sister, sil.

Ms 'Life's-A-Wrath' (her name sounds close to that) at work is a mess! She works for the PR department. I think she's some form of web person... or she heads that department or something like that... she has some form of job for the school and she guards the bloody computer with her p**** hahahaha! Ok she doesn't but it's funny to write it. She's just bloody clueless! Yes, she makes a lot of money (and she doesn't work on Fridays!!!) - certainly a lot more than the mere teachers in this school who shapes the mind of future leaders (lol ok I'm being dramatic here) - and yup, knows next to nothing about her job - yes, I do believe EVERTHING the king tells me lol! She hates the king's guts (lol) and whenever she wants anything done or changed ie, changes on the school's UNOFFICIAL blog ('unofficial' 'coz the school, meaning she and dumbass headmaster the prick - did not like the idea of the king starting a blog for the parents of kids in the 7th and 8th grade without consulting them - and more so 'coz they had no idea what a blog is and it would mean that they'd have no control over whatever it is; now, it's too late to call it official or pretend to like it after the praises from all the parents who rely on the blog for information lol) ...but yes, when she needs help and/or something done and only the king can do it, she does the loopy loop way and gets the headmaster (whose you-know-what she must be doing you-know-what to HAHAHAHA - omg that's so below the belt komt is SO gonna' make me take this off lol) to talk to my husband, or/and the computer guy in school to speak to the king to do what she wants. Usually nothing important like correcting spelling mistakes which she insists shows non-professionalism (it's a phucking UNOFFICIAL blog for crying out loud!!) or like her latest fit, to change the color of the UNOFFICIAL blog to match the official school website. ARRGH!! What bugs me most is the roundabout manner she uses other men to do her dirty job instead of simply emailing or asking the king to change the color of the blog he started. C'mon woman, have you looked at the OFFICIAL school website? ...or even the bloody monthly school publication?!?!? Stupid wench!! You don't even know what spell check is?!

I'm saying all this 'coz I hate people who try to bully my husband - or go out of their way to show they dislike him. I know it's probably not possible to bully him 'coz his come-backs are fast as lightning and sharp as can be; unlike mine... I'll think of a come-back line to an afternoon argument in the middle of watching American Idol (I hate Sanjaya btw and no, no links for him) at night and go 'DUH!'. Still... it's the principle of it all. I don't like anyone being mean to my husband... even if he was the one who might have instigated the bad feelings towards him lol! Yes, I know he can be difficult with stupid people sometimes lol. But I am his protector and it's my job - I like to believe so.

A New Blogger

My crazy friend G finally started a blog called 'Foodies R Goodies'. Yes, of course it's a food blog DUH! I'm excited 'coz all this time I've been trying to get her to use flickr, and have a blog of her own, is finally showing results :) Sure, I kind of forced her into using flickr but hey, as long as it works, what's twenty over bucks between friends right?!

Right now, I'm trying to get her to own a personal blog. She doesn't see why she should air her dirty laundry but I'm trying to convince her that it's even more fun trying to dry other people's laundry lol! She hasn't turned me down (yet), so there is some hope :)

All this talk about blogging has gotten me reading more blogs that I don't usually subscribe to and seducing me to start my own food or travel blog... but right now, I think I'll just concentrate on this one. I can't even handle one. I mean, I think I'm doing well for the month of March but who knows how long this will sustain :)

Videos Below

Just in case some of you have trouble with the videos below, here are the utube links:

I NEED AIR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgMQdRAtSz0

DON'T ASK.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmbVifbACgQ

THE KING @ SAMRAAT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0By-m4UYFA

OUTTA'F CONTROL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mgTXrEAwh8

FAVORITE RAMEN PLACE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6uxysfl0uY

MMMM... UNI-LICIOUS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEWZmn0nsTI

I Need Air

I don't know why I sound like I'm out of breath... maybe the last two gin tonics at Death Match lol. Either way, I want some Indian food!!!

Don't Ask...

just learn from my mistakes lol! Neither of us know why I seemed like I was sleeping before the video either lol!