If They're Not Psychos, They Are Stupid

What is it with me? I seem to attract people who become friends whom I eventually realize they are psychotic or stupid or both!

I have an ex-friend, K (I know, ex-friend sounds so juvenile, but you'd understand if you knew her... or just read on - it's going to be looonnngg) who can't stop trying to be my friend - or make me like her again. I don't want to be her friend neither do I care about her anymore. She moved away from the Memphis area more than a year ago and not only have I not contacted her in any way, I have not returned her calls, replied to any of her emails or even via other friend's suggestion, give her some sign of life. You'd think that someone who has passed the fifty year old point would get over that. Nope... this is one of those people whose success is to annoy the shit out of you so at this moment, she is cheering 'v for victory!!'. Gag me!

K is selfish and a bossy brat and cannot imagine why anyone would dislike her for any reason. I tried to tell her before (when we used to hang out together) that not everyone is loved by everyone (not especially her) and not everyone loves her; but she would always think I was joking. Mean as I can be I always tried to tell her the truth... maybe not always verbally nor in a very direct manner, but I figured she would get the hint somehow, someday. Wrong! I simply cannot understand how someone who constantly tells me and another girl, J, that we are (were) her best/closest friends would treat us the way she did/does.

Ok, now the background. K's husband got a job in West Virginia and though he had a good job here, the pay would be higher in Morgantown which meant that K would be able to get that big ass house she always wanted. She had a nice enough house here... in fact, we hung out there quite a bit. But hers was the smallest among all the girls though you'd hardly call 3000 sq ft small! Of course, she failed to see that if she moved, it was to a bigger loser state then Tennessee! Who the hell voluntarily moves to West Virginia anyway?! It is one of the nine states American Airlines doesn't even fly into! Yes, truly! As if being in Tennessee wasn't bad enough. We tried to warn her... tried to talk her out of it since her husband was ok about staying. Nope, she insisted about wanting to be closer to family, namely her mom and stepdad, in Pittsburgh. That was a bigger mistake lol but we won't get into that. By the time they put the house up for sale, we knew it was a done deal. But it was then the problems started between her and all her friends. No it's not just J and I who wonder about her these days. It's EVERYONE. Trust me. They just don't have the guts to say anything to her. Up till then, everyone was still sad to see her go. I mean, she was a nice person. She was fun and at times, funny. She was a whiner but she usually did it rather tactfully.

Before she put up their house for sale, she asked J and I if she and her family could stay at our homes for an extended period of time. I remember avoiding her calls not knowing how to say 'hell no!' to her. I didn't call her back when she left voice messages for me and I was seriously stressed! Then came the afternoon when J and K took me out for my birthday lunch. I vividly remember we were seated at the corner booth having a nice meal at Yia Yia's. Things got uncomfortable pretty quickly. She brought up the upsetting question again. Since it was almost summer vacation, I used the husband as an excuse and said no to her since he would be home and on vacation and it just wouldn't be fair to put him through the crap I know she would bring with her. Since J and the family was going away for two weeks in Florida for the summer, she decided to let K and her family stay and house-sit for them. I thought that was a good idea too. Only to be hit by another even more upsetting question. She asked J if they had cable in the bedrooms they were going to utilize. Yes, gawdammit I'm sure she asked that. I am not making this up. My eyes bulged out like a cartoon character would when she asked J that. I couldn't even swallow my lunch after that. The bloody gall!!! I think J was a little shocked plus she's Brit and she thought K, the ugly American meant cable like the jack in the wall. Nope, K made it apparent that she and the family needed tv (which they will bring their own) with cable and that J's husband could actually get the cable company to hook it up in the rooms for a small fee. WHOA! Are you for real woman!? ...then she said 'that's why your house (meaning mine) would have been perfect 'coz I know you have cable in your guestrooms'. Again, like the courtesy is for free deal. Just 'coz I have it doesn't mean I want to give it to you or let you use it! That's why it's called MY bloody house you nimbkampook! Plus I'm not in the motel/hotel business thank you very much. My guest rooms are for guests... people I welcome and invite.

Well, K's house sold way early and they had to get out of there much earlier then expected. Well, not really but they would rather inconvenience their friends then the buyers of their house. They obviously wanted the money from the proceeds of the sale asap. ...so what does a professor, his wife and their college aged daughter do when faced with a situation like that!? They move into J's house a week early (they claimed they wanted to save money that's why they didn't want to stay in a motel) and then announced that they would stay not just the two weeks to house-sit but also an extra week after J's return from summer vacation since the house in West Virginia was not to close till then. Hey, I kid you not she is a piece of art, isn't she? ...maybe not art but certainly a piece of something! Yes, this does get worse! See, what did I tell you about being an ex-friend.

So in moved K and the no-personality husband of hers and their daughter who had a crush on J's college aged son. Run Forrest RUN!!! It only took days before K was running the household, helping buy groceries which was nice but was just buying crap J didn't appreciate. People just have their way of running their own households and K apparently didn't understand nor cared to ask. She brought everything from her ex-pantry from the house as a gift to J lol. Yes, rancid nuts, out-of-date cake mixes; you name it!

One night (before J and family left for vacation) we had a girl's night out thingy and we had dinner at a Thai restaurant nearby. The bill came and I paid my share (the idiotic American way of doing things) and I fully expected K to pay J's bill; I mean, she was staying at J's house and it was like fifteen sorry ass bucks for crying out loud. Did she? Take a wild guess. You think you're horrified!? I was speechless - and you know it takes a lot out of me to shut the phuck up! I was practically traumatized lol.

To cut the next few weeks short, K very quickly started losing J as a good friend. K even had to plan her own 'Farewell to K' party hahaha! I kid you not! J was away, I was away... we both got emails from her and other people she suggested on doing, telling us what to do ie, to be in charge of bringing paper plates and what not. Needless to say, it was more like 'Good Riddance to K' party' by the time it got around to it. J and the family came back from vacation and found their couch ripped and damaged, the water and power bill sky-rocketed and not only did K not apologize for the couch, or help pay the bills, she denied any wrong-doing and said it was already damaged before. She yelled at J's kids and made the youngest one cry and acted like she was the mother of the family and was doing everything for J. Before she left, K took J and her husband and the rest of us couples out once -big phucking deal! They did nothing special for J and her family and left with nothing but a bad aftertaste in J's and the whole family's mouth.

Shortly after her departure, she returned! Yup! It wasn't even six months! She asked to stay at J's and a few other friends. Yup, she manage to bully J into it. Which was fine except she started complaining about how noisy it was in the morning at J's to be woken up by the garage door when J's husband left for work; she compared the other friends' houses she'd stay at to J's and boasted about the sheets and fancy towels they had for her. I'm surprised she was not chased out of the house immediately. I saw her twice during that visit. Once at our weekly bowling session. She asked for a hug when she saw me and I commented "you just left yester-freakin-day why do you need a hug!?" She was obviously hurt and then she complained later how I didn't sit next to her at lunch and ignored her throughout lunch. I so felt like a man trying to ditch a sorry ass bitch! So I invited her, J and J's mom visiting from England, over for lunch the next day. I cooked a simple lunch and entertained them for the afternoon. That was the last time I saw her. What upset me was... a week later, a mutual friend of ours came up to J and I and asked 'hey, where were you two that day at K's coffee get-together at Starbucks? I was hoping to see you there since it was K's gathering and I knew you two would be there.'. Needless to say, J nor I had been invited to this 'event'... thing was, I didn't much care (though I'd admit, it did bother me for a minute since hello, she was at my house just the day before eating my damn food and saying crap like 'I really miss our days when we used to hang out and just eat and talk) but hello, at this point, she was still staying at J's!!!

Guess what!? She's returning to the Memphis area again. I got an email from her a few days ago asking if the husband and I would like to join them for a couples get-together. Now how do you deal with someone like that?! Yeah you gotta' just ignore it one more time. You guessed it, she's staying at J's for a week. Who the phuck visits for one bloody week!? Excuse me, she's staying longer then that. She'll be here Sept 27 through Oct 8! That an eternity! So it's a week at J's, a few days at some other so-called friend whom neither J nor I have ever heard her mention before her last visit (that's the girl who has the nice fancy sheets and towels and the big huge house in Mississippi - then again, it's freakin' lame ass Mississippi) and a few more days at J's and when her prof. husband comes to town, she will stay at a hotel with him. So guess who's ditching two weeks of bowling to avoid Ms. K lol. Hey, I don't mind. I can keep myself busy. ...and no, we're not going to the get-together. I don't care to see her... nor hear about what she's doing or not going. Besides, I'm sure I'd hear all about it from someone after she leaves lol.

So that's the story of K. I have resisted writing this piece of blog about her for more than a year; before her departure. It would be a lot longer but believe me, I cut it short. But now, it's time! The girl just won't give up! If she reads this, oh well. All the better. She can go complain to everyone here about what a horrible person I am... guess what? They already know it HAHAHAHA! She needs to realize that everyone she knows here has moved on with their lives. Just 'coz she hasn't made any new friends in "Worst Vagina" (no that is not a typo) doesn't mean we have to keep feeling sorry for her. Give it up K! Get a life and move on!