Nowhere lol!
It can't get any cooler in this country at this time of the year so I'm trying to enjoy the less warm weather in Seattle. But... 'I hate summer days!'; and I don't care how mild it is, I want cooler, better yet, cold weather everyday - especially when I'm gallivanting around the streets, sweltering in sweat pouring down the crevaces of my layers of fatty skin. Yuk! Double yuk! So with this 'beautiful' weather that's chanced upon Seattle for a good three weeks now, no clouds, no rain, just pure clear days of sunshine, I haven't exactly been doing much. However, I'm still ecstatic to be here 'coz thus far, the high has only gotten to as high as 86 degrees farenheit (arrgh!) while it's at least 10 degrees if not more where our house sits in Tennessee!
I shall be back soon. More often... I know I've probably lost some of my readers but you'll come back :)
Showing posts with label yuk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yuk. Show all posts
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
I Look Like Bozo The Clown
You'd think that from a person who used to say she has pig-nose, Bozo the Clown would be a step up. Unfortunately, it's Bozo WITH the pig-nose LOL!
I went for a haircut today. I decided to check out Yelp and went for the cheap haircut that EVERYONE who reviewed this place gave it five stars! Well... I should know cheap doesn't always equal good... or good enough. It's not bad... I think it's more for the young college kids... or just for the person seeking a cheap haircut. I, obviously, isn't in any of the two above subset.
I don't hate my haircut as much as you might think I do. After all, I have hair that grows like hares multiply in cartoons... so it doesn't bother me as much as if I had thin and ungrowable hair. But it's just the way the girl styled it and then the other lady came over and said "Cute! I like it!". It was just wrong. It made me look like one of those haircuts (with fringe) that they'd just cupped a bowl around my head and given me one of those typical Chinese pianist/violinist haircut. Laughable! ...and those mirrors... ok I know they don't have fat mirrors in there to make you look fatter but OMG, their mirrors sat right there starring back at me with no counter top/table to just show my upper body... but I'm sitting in front of a full length mirror. Wow that was an awakening. I didn't know I'd put on THAT much weight since I stopped working out ummm... right before last Fall. Of course, I've been eating EVERYTHING I've wanted so that certainly hasn't helped lol.
So the 'ugly full length mirrors' and the odd hair style and oh... chairs that couldn't sustain my weight!! They kept creeping down! I could feel it - I could bloody hear it! Now I know I can't be the heaviest person to go in there... this is, after all, America! I finally gave up and said 'I think your chair can't take my weight' half jokingly. My hair person said it was all the chairs but I honestly doubt it. It's a new salon - only five months - so she was just being nice... but it was rather embarassing for a fat girl, you know what I mean? Thank goodness I'm older and don't give a phuck about what people say about me... but if I were a young college student, I would be devastated and ran out of there crying lol! Yes, it's quite funny 'coz little things get to young girls... and this, to me, probably wouldn't be that 'small' a thing... oh well... just had to moan about my morning experience.
Maybe I should just go to Chinatown... but that's even worst - all the atypical skinny Asian girls with long straight perfect hair go there.
I went for a haircut today. I decided to check out Yelp and went for the cheap haircut that EVERYONE who reviewed this place gave it five stars! Well... I should know cheap doesn't always equal good... or good enough. It's not bad... I think it's more for the young college kids... or just for the person seeking a cheap haircut. I, obviously, isn't in any of the two above subset.
I don't hate my haircut as much as you might think I do. After all, I have hair that grows like hares multiply in cartoons... so it doesn't bother me as much as if I had thin and ungrowable hair. But it's just the way the girl styled it and then the other lady came over and said "Cute! I like it!". It was just wrong. It made me look like one of those haircuts (with fringe) that they'd just cupped a bowl around my head and given me one of those typical Chinese pianist/violinist haircut. Laughable! ...and those mirrors... ok I know they don't have fat mirrors in there to make you look fatter but OMG, their mirrors sat right there starring back at me with no counter top/table to just show my upper body... but I'm sitting in front of a full length mirror. Wow that was an awakening. I didn't know I'd put on THAT much weight since I stopped working out ummm... right before last Fall. Of course, I've been eating EVERYTHING I've wanted so that certainly hasn't helped lol.
So the 'ugly full length mirrors' and the odd hair style and oh... chairs that couldn't sustain my weight!! They kept creeping down! I could feel it - I could bloody hear it! Now I know I can't be the heaviest person to go in there... this is, after all, America! I finally gave up and said 'I think your chair can't take my weight' half jokingly. My hair person said it was all the chairs but I honestly doubt it. It's a new salon - only five months - so she was just being nice... but it was rather embarassing for a fat girl, you know what I mean? Thank goodness I'm older and don't give a phuck about what people say about me... but if I were a young college student, I would be devastated and ran out of there crying lol! Yes, it's quite funny 'coz little things get to young girls... and this, to me, probably wouldn't be that 'small' a thing... oh well... just had to moan about my morning experience.
Maybe I should just go to Chinatown... but that's even worst - all the atypical skinny Asian girls with long straight perfect hair go there.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Hiding At Home
OMFG!! Can it get any hotter then it's been the last few days!? I hate hate hate this horrible horrible unbearable ie 'untahannable', weather! I want to go back to Buenos Aires where it's nice and cloudy and cold!! Arrgh!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
T.M.I
Ever thought you're having a casual conversation with someone you see everyday - but are not friends with them - and suddenly find yourself in a conversation you didn't realize you were heading towards? Funny, I seem to land myself in that situation quite a lot lately...
Today, I was in the toilet after my day's workout routine and as usual, almost daily, I ran into the red-haired (when I say red-hair, I don't mean the ang moh auburn shaded hair... I mean fire-engine screaming red colored hair) light-skinned (or light skinded as some of them call themselves) African-American janitor. I don't know her name despite having chatted with her a gazillion times and know where her joints hurt, her doctor's name at Baptist East and today, I found out more than I cared to know - her sex life. I kid you not!! Aunt Jemima (let's just call her that) is super friendly. She's about 50 yrs old, again, the distinctive short super red hair and walks with a slight limp from her knee surgery. She's as southern as can be and refers to everyone she talks to as 'baby' or 'honey'. I'm usually 'baby'.
Yesterday, after my swim, Aunt Jemima told me to make sure I dried my hair before going out into the cold or I'd catch 'piumonia'. No mistake in my spelling. That's exactly how she pronounced it. Today, she fussed at me when I dried my hands on my sweaty shirt. Oh, don't get me wrong, Aunt Jemima is the sweetest... but sometimes, I suppose we need to be a little more careful with how we direct our conversations...
Today... yikes today... I have no idea how we got onto talking about sex because at first she was asking me if we could switch lives because she assumed I have a good life since I spend most of my mornings at the Germantown Centre gigglings and laughing with people (when I'm not groaning, moaning and complaining while working out). She also figured out I have no kids - I gather that someone must have mentioned it to her (like someone has got this insane rumor out that I am a nurse lol). But just as when we were talking about the no-kid syndrome and she let me know that she, too, has no kids, and is thrilled about it... she started going on about her five miscarriages that two were some form of tubular pregnancies. She told me to tell ALL men (ok, I'm married I don't know who else I would be telling) that a man can bump and grind and do all the loving he wants but do not 'drop' a baby in us! Before I knew what was going on, Aunt Jemima, low and behold, was showing me what to do if a man 'drops it' in you. Hey, don't kill the messenger, I'm only quoting! Omg I swear, she was sitting on the toilet and giving me all sorts of sound affects, I kid you not, like she's squeezing what the guy 'dropped' in her out! No, she did not pull down her pants but omg that was traumatic enough! I guess Aunt Jemima must be a little deaf because she's loud! With her booming tenor voice plus the confined space of the three-cubicle toilet's echoe, I myself was going deaf and dumber by the minute.
I didn't know how to get out of it... I even had one hand on one door and checking my time (pretending like I had somewhere, anywhere, to go). But Aunt Jemima went on. Omg did she go on... she went on to tell me how she told her dead husband she would kill him if she'd gotten her pregnant (I wonder who got her the 5 miscarriages those times) and how she would not kill him with her fist, a knife or an axe but with a pistol! No I'm not making any of this up! Just go ask Sean the receptionist who was in tears by the time I walked out of the toilet.
Too much information Aunt Jemima! Waaaayyy too much!! Can't say it wasn't funny though.
Today, I was in the toilet after my day's workout routine and as usual, almost daily, I ran into the red-haired (when I say red-hair, I don't mean the ang moh auburn shaded hair... I mean fire-engine screaming red colored hair) light-skinned (or light skinded as some of them call themselves) African-American janitor. I don't know her name despite having chatted with her a gazillion times and know where her joints hurt, her doctor's name at Baptist East and today, I found out more than I cared to know - her sex life. I kid you not!! Aunt Jemima (let's just call her that) is super friendly. She's about 50 yrs old, again, the distinctive short super red hair and walks with a slight limp from her knee surgery. She's as southern as can be and refers to everyone she talks to as 'baby' or 'honey'. I'm usually 'baby'.
Yesterday, after my swim, Aunt Jemima told me to make sure I dried my hair before going out into the cold or I'd catch 'piumonia'. No mistake in my spelling. That's exactly how she pronounced it. Today, she fussed at me when I dried my hands on my sweaty shirt. Oh, don't get me wrong, Aunt Jemima is the sweetest... but sometimes, I suppose we need to be a little more careful with how we direct our conversations...
Today... yikes today... I have no idea how we got onto talking about sex because at first she was asking me if we could switch lives because she assumed I have a good life since I spend most of my mornings at the Germantown Centre gigglings and laughing with people (when I'm not groaning, moaning and complaining while working out). She also figured out I have no kids - I gather that someone must have mentioned it to her (like someone has got this insane rumor out that I am a nurse lol). But just as when we were talking about the no-kid syndrome and she let me know that she, too, has no kids, and is thrilled about it... she started going on about her five miscarriages that two were some form of tubular pregnancies. She told me to tell ALL men (ok, I'm married I don't know who else I would be telling) that a man can bump and grind and do all the loving he wants but do not 'drop' a baby in us! Before I knew what was going on, Aunt Jemima, low and behold, was showing me what to do if a man 'drops it' in you. Hey, don't kill the messenger, I'm only quoting! Omg I swear, she was sitting on the toilet and giving me all sorts of sound affects, I kid you not, like she's squeezing what the guy 'dropped' in her out! No, she did not pull down her pants but omg that was traumatic enough! I guess Aunt Jemima must be a little deaf because she's loud! With her booming tenor voice plus the confined space of the three-cubicle toilet's echoe, I myself was going deaf and dumber by the minute.
I didn't know how to get out of it... I even had one hand on one door and checking my time (pretending like I had somewhere, anywhere, to go). But Aunt Jemima went on. Omg did she go on... she went on to tell me how she told her dead husband she would kill him if she'd gotten her pregnant (I wonder who got her the 5 miscarriages those times) and how she would not kill him with her fist, a knife or an axe but with a pistol! No I'm not making any of this up! Just go ask Sean the receptionist who was in tears by the time I walked out of the toilet.
Too much information Aunt Jemima! Waaaayyy too much!! Can't say it wasn't funny though.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
PS2 Incompatible
We've had the Play Station 2 (PS2) for awhile now and I have always only played the karaoke games. Singing as a fat viking woman (it's the only not so thin woman available) and being booed off stage can be pretty humiliating but at least only the husband is around to enjoy the laugh.
A few months ago, the husband thought he would venture me into a cool game called Katamari where you basically are a rolling ball rolling over the universe to sweep up objects to make yourself bigger. Well that didn't work for me since playing on the big ass tv in our bedroom only subjected me to watching the ball on tv rolling and rolling and rolling and... you get the pic. It just got me seriously dizzy!! I quit playing the game after a mere 10 mins and had to call the husband at work to let him know the game got me sick. The man had a good laugh on my expense but I'll admit, it's pretty retarded and funny.
Well, the joke continues. Over the Christmas holidays, my sweet husband decided that since I can't watch little balls roll into big ones, he got a couple of new games for us. One was Simpsons and the other is Godfather.
This morning, after watching him test the Simpsons game before I went to sleep, I decided to be adventurous and test the game on my own while he laid next to me deeeep asleep. I didn't even get as far as stage two and I started feeling dizzy... trying to get Lisa's Science project to her was a real pain. OMG, before I knew it, I was feeling nauseous and sick. Yes, my breakfast didn't stick with me too long. Sure wasn't a pretty sight (or sound) when the husband heard me gagging in the bathroom. Yes, it certainly woke him up in a shock :s
Maybe it explains why my hands were shaking pretty bad when I was cycling on the stationary cycle this morning. So no more PS2 games for me. I'm not even brave enough to try the Godfather game. I'll stick to being the lardass viking trying to sing to a crowd of jerks who boo me constantly :)
A few months ago, the husband thought he would venture me into a cool game called Katamari where you basically are a rolling ball rolling over the universe to sweep up objects to make yourself bigger. Well that didn't work for me since playing on the big ass tv in our bedroom only subjected me to watching the ball on tv rolling and rolling and rolling and... you get the pic. It just got me seriously dizzy!! I quit playing the game after a mere 10 mins and had to call the husband at work to let him know the game got me sick. The man had a good laugh on my expense but I'll admit, it's pretty retarded and funny.
Well, the joke continues. Over the Christmas holidays, my sweet husband decided that since I can't watch little balls roll into big ones, he got a couple of new games for us. One was Simpsons and the other is Godfather.
This morning, after watching him test the Simpsons game before I went to sleep, I decided to be adventurous and test the game on my own while he laid next to me deeeep asleep. I didn't even get as far as stage two and I started feeling dizzy... trying to get Lisa's Science project to her was a real pain. OMG, before I knew it, I was feeling nauseous and sick. Yes, my breakfast didn't stick with me too long. Sure wasn't a pretty sight (or sound) when the husband heard me gagging in the bathroom. Yes, it certainly woke him up in a shock :s
Maybe it explains why my hands were shaking pretty bad when I was cycling on the stationary cycle this morning. So no more PS2 games for me. I'm not even brave enough to try the Godfather game. I'll stick to being the lardass viking trying to sing to a crowd of jerks who boo me constantly :)
Friday, August 11, 2006
When There Is No Lock...
He builds a fortress.
This is what a 16 year old boy has to turn to in order to protect some of his privacy. He claims it's a fortress... like he's playing war... but we ALL know what kind of a war he's playing by himself LOL!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Who Am I?
'Are you Filipina?' I get asked that question at least ten times on an annual basis. Well, I'm not(!) so stop bloody asking me!!! Yesterday at jazzercise, an Asian walked in. We looked at each other, smiled and nodded. She looked Vietnamese and 'older'... ok, not that much older but 'weathered' lol. She was a good jazzerciser, so I figured she's been to more than a couple of lessons unlike Julie and I who were at our second class and still lost and clumsy with the same steps we were just taught two days ago.
Right after class, Ms Thang came up to me and asked enthusiastically with her accent 'are you Pilipina?'. I think I resisted rolling my squinty eyes... but I know they also got really big (big like I was in my first traumatic earthquake experiance). 'NO?' I answered, trying to remain calm. She asked if I had kids. This time I think my nose flared lol... again, negative. Boy she was hitting all the wrong points wasn't she. She then asked if I'd just moved here hahahaha. I decided to be nice and started a semi conversation :)
Over the years, I have had uncountable people ask me an umpteen times 'pilipina?'. Gawd... from the bus driver who took me from my car to the airport terminal in Tucson, the bunch of guys at the bus-stop in Seattle, the group of Filina chicks who looked me up and down and smiled when they saw me walking with Bruce giving me the oh-you've-done-well-for-yourself look at Trafalgar Square, the Filipina cashier at Marks and Spencers in London, the doorman in Vienna who asked if I speak Tagalog, the lady at Buffalo Wild Wings in Memphis who practically cornered me and interrogated me when I said I wasn't 'her kind'... geez... and that's only a fraction of what I can remember.
On the flip side, when I tell the Chinese that I AM Chinese, they don't want to believe me! WTF?!
Right after class, Ms Thang came up to me and asked enthusiastically with her accent 'are you Pilipina?'. I think I resisted rolling my squinty eyes... but I know they also got really big (big like I was in my first traumatic earthquake experiance). 'NO?' I answered, trying to remain calm. She asked if I had kids. This time I think my nose flared lol... again, negative. Boy she was hitting all the wrong points wasn't she. She then asked if I'd just moved here hahahaha. I decided to be nice and started a semi conversation :)
Over the years, I have had uncountable people ask me an umpteen times 'pilipina?'. Gawd... from the bus driver who took me from my car to the airport terminal in Tucson, the bunch of guys at the bus-stop in Seattle, the group of Filina chicks who looked me up and down and smiled when they saw me walking with Bruce giving me the oh-you've-done-well-for-yourself look at Trafalgar Square, the Filipina cashier at Marks and Spencers in London, the doorman in Vienna who asked if I speak Tagalog, the lady at Buffalo Wild Wings in Memphis who practically cornered me and interrogated me when I said I wasn't 'her kind'... geez... and that's only a fraction of what I can remember.
On the flip side, when I tell the Chinese that I AM Chinese, they don't want to believe me! WTF?!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
My MIL Loves Me... BUT...
What do you say when someone says 'I love you' constantly on the phone and you don't love them back? I mean, I doubt my mil really sincerely loves me (will I live) hahaha but she sure says it a ton on the phone which makes me very uncomfortable. Of course, I also come from a culture that other than the spouse, no one EVER says it to anyone else. Not to family nor friends. My parents certainly have never told us that... well ok, my dad did once to me and made me fall off the chair (it's true!!) but that's another story for another day...
So I just got off the phone with my mil. I have to go get groceries for her tomorrow. Which is absolutely fine especially since I did volunteer to do it for her (when I used to like her pre-surgery days). BUT... that means I have to deliver it to her house. Which means I have to see her. Which means I have to step into her house. Which means I will smell her and her house. Which means she will tell me forty stories while I'm there. Which means I will turn even more yellow than my complexion to hold my breath for two hours. Which means I will be upset and screaming in my head but smiling so ever sweetly to her before I can dash out of the house and gasp for some foul air in her driveway. I know, it's probably funny to you... but trust me, it not funny.
She also wanted me to tell her son to pick up her mail for her. Huh?! Pick up her mail? The mailbox that sits on the front yard of the house? The mailbox that her god-sent daughter has to drive by everyday to visit? The same mailbox that the physical therapist and/or occupational therapist drive by before getting into her driveway!? But no, she only wants her beloved son to do pick it up. Oh well... I'd do my husband a favor and in turn piss her off by picking it up when I deliver her groceries tomorrow. Of course, she won't tell me what she wants yet so I have to call her before I go to the grocery store. I should tell her I can only buy stuff from the Asian store and bring some pig's trotters, pig's intestines, soft tofu, dried scallops and century eggs with me. Bet she won't ever ask me to do her grocery again hee hee.
Stay tune for more tomorrow's post-grocery episode.
So I just got off the phone with my mil.
She also wanted me to tell her son to pick up her mail for her. Huh?! Pick up her mail? The mailbox that sits on the front yard of the house? The mailbox that her god-sent daughter has to drive by everyday to visit? The same mailbox that the physical therapist and/or occupational therapist drive by before getting into her driveway!? But no, she only wants her beloved son to do pick it up. Oh well... I'd do my husband a favor and in turn piss her off by picking it up when I deliver her groceries tomorrow. Of course, she won't tell me what she wants yet so I have to call her before I go to the grocery store. I should tell her I can only buy stuff from the Asian store and bring some pig's trotters, pig's intestines, soft tofu, dried scallops and century eggs with me. Bet she won't ever ask me to do her grocery again hee hee.
Stay tune for more tomorrow's post-grocery episode.
Monday, July 11, 2005
I'm Peeling
Yes, scaly, lizard-like and certainly unattractive, my entire back has finally stopped (well, almost stopped) itching and starting to peel. Soon, I'd have a patchy colored back and soon enough, I'd be back to normal. I know, you don't care and didn't need to know all that detail :)
But, soothing my warm-feeling, half itchy scaley back is awesome cool weather. Constant heavy drizzle, mild wind and absolutely no sunshine in sight. My kind of day! I went out to run some errands in the morning but I'm in for the day and it makes me just want to curl up in bed and watch my Chinese DVDs all day... which I will after I get this published.
It's days like that that make me appreciate our house SO much more :) It's good to be alive. Scaley back or not.
But, soothing my warm-feeling, half itchy scaley back is awesome cool weather. Constant heavy drizzle, mild wind and absolutely no sunshine in sight. My kind of day! I went out to run some errands in the morning but I'm in for the day and it makes me just want to curl up in bed and watch my Chinese DVDs all day... which I will after I get this published.
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