The King @ Samraat

Yes he is!! ...and I assume I don't have to convince you about me lol!

He's Outta'f Control

Need I say more?!

We've just finished with Deathmatch Bar after dinner and drinks at Hibiki and now we're going onto our next destination. It's almost 2am and we have no idea where... but I'm following him lol

My New Favorite Ramen Place

Misoichi in Nakano is where I dream to go eat ramen ever since the king took me there. YUMMERS! Here, I'm eating my medium spicy thin noodle no cha-siu ramen and I'm lovin' it! DUH!

Mmmmm... Uni-licious!

If you like uni (sea urchin) then you will LOVE uni in Japan. Not just at any sushi place of course - I have had my share of not-so-awesome uni even in Japan. My favorite place to eat very very good, never-fail-you uni in Japan (among other restaurants we don't go that regularly) is Sushi Cho in Roppongi. Mmmmm... U...NIIIII...

Jiang Hua Yu

Remember all the silly campaigns the Singapore government would have her citizens follow when we were growing up in the late 70s!? The 'courtesy' campaign with stupid Singa the Lion, the 'speak mandarin' campaign where they had commercials on tv relating that the ah mas (grammas) and ah gongs (grandpas) at home quit speaking the only Chinese dialect they have spoken all their lives and learn to speak Mandarin from their 3 year old grandchild?! I know there are tons more 'coz every Monday in school, I remember as a very very bored 13, 14 and 15 year old teenager at assembly rolling my eyes while the bloody principal of Nan Hua Secondary School, Mdm Chow (an old ass lady who spoke English with a North American accent) would say shit like "this week is water conser-wayyyyyyyy-tion week!'. Okay, I said, she spoke with an accent, I didn't say she pronounced everything well. Or... "this week is lend-not-borrow-week". How about 'shut the phuck up week' I would always think lol. Obviously she never did... not especially when she caught me with an 'illegal' hairstyle that my mom had cut for me. But, once again, that's a story for yet another day...

My title says 'jiang hua yu' directly translated means 'speak Mandarin'. I think I might know why our Singapore government still encourages us to speak not our first language (well there is no 'speak English' campaign that I know of... at least there wasn't when I was there) and instead, our mother tongue. For most of us Singaporeans, Mandarin is our second language. Like our first language, we don't speak it perfectly like someone from Beijing or Taiwan would. okay, we don't even speak it well, let's be honest here. We are mere borrowers of English and Mandarin and we butcher the languages... much like you Americans who claim English as your own. Face it, it's called English. Not Americanish. So it's not yours other than those words you insist on spelling wrongly. They are spelt 'aluminium', 'maths', 'fillet', 'moustache', 'quarelled', 'grey' etc. The list is endless... You now understand why my spelling is still sometimes whacked out of control 'coz I honestly still don't know if I'm coming or going lol. I grew up in a British colony for crying out loud! Dates are written day, month and year... not month first, day then year?! Same goes for my pronounciation which sometimes ignites thunderous laughter from the king. That's ok... I, too, find it pretty funny SOMETIMES :)

When we Singaporeans speak English (or better known as Singlish); to another Singaporean especially, we tend to mix our sentences with splashes of Chinese words and/or phrases ie, Mandarin and/or any dialect both party might understand - sometimes with Malay too. With lazy accents, sometimes even leaving entire alphabetical sounds off certain words, we do run into pretty hilarious double language entendres. For example, my friend, L and I were on the phone earlier today. She is also from Singapore and like me, Hokkien. She was at the airport on her way to Chicago to see her beloved husband and killing time before boarding. Our topics switched from talking about our mutual friend G, to our days in American colleges, our lives in different American cities, to food (of course, which conversation with a Singaporean could go without food?!), to Americans in general, to some guy who chose to sit next to her despite the gazillion other seats at the gate to pick, to the US government listening-in to our phone conversations... we drifted to talking about Oprah - why of course! Who can talk about Chicago without mentioning Oprah lol. Okay L, don't have a heart attack, I'm only joking! So here we are talking about Oprah and L asks of my opinion of O 'coz she can't stand her... not her crusade she insists but just O in too many ways... so I asked curiously, 'ALL AH?' as in 'you don't like ALL of her talk show episodes on tv or was it just that recent one on SECRETS which was bloody ridiculous and moronic'. Of course, when I pronounce all, I'm practicallying missing both the 'L's' in the word which sounds like 'Or' without the 'r' lol!! ...and she replied 'no lah not 'coz she's or!'. 'Or' in Hokkien, means 'black'. OMG did I burst out laughing - so did she when I repeated what we both had said. Yes, funny incidents like that. Or the time when the king and I (hahaha, ok, not THE King and I lol) went to see 'Stranger Then Fiction' with Will Ferrell. There is a part where he brings a box of presents to the woman he's in love with (who is a baker) and he says, 'I brought you some flower'. ...now growing up, we were taught that 'flower' is pronounced 'flaow-wer' and 'flour', pronounced 'fla' - not like how both words are pronounced like 'flower' here. I was seriously confused when I heard he'd brought 'flowers' to this woman in a box with six bags sitting in it. I slid over and asked the king in a whispering voice, 'why did he bring flower seeds to her'? Wondering why he didn't just bring flowers like a normal man - then again, he wasn't really playing a 'normal man' to begin with. Of course, komt hisses back 'FLOUR for baking LAH!' and then laughs like an insane mad man. Of course, the light bulb in my head went 'ding!' and momentarily, got slightly brighter lol. My natural response... 'you mean FLA?!'

Maybe the Singaporean government should think about the 'speak one language well' campaign. No doubt I'm thankful that I speak at least two core languages - not well but good enough - there are days when I'd rather be able to speak one language really really well and know the meaning of every single word in that language, every phrase, idiom and slang then a few half arsed languages that I can't really be too proud of. I suppose I can't complain. If I only spoke one language, life would be SO boring and colorless - I mean, colourless!!

Getting Ready To Leave

It's the morning of our departure. As much as I'm usually not ready to leave Japan - though I won't deny it's hard being practically a mute when I'm here lol - I'm a little excited to be boarding the family Narita Express back to the airport. Nah, it's not homesick. After all, I have the husband with me hee hee... I'm looking forward to checking out the new American Airlines Admirals Club.

Ok, call I'm pathetic and lame. There, satisfied? I know I am. You have to understand, however, that this is one airport that the Ryan household use a lot (about ten times last year!) and when you're waiting on a flight, in between flights or have a delayed plane, these lounges are vital! The old one was sad - not as sorry as the one in Shanghai (though I have yet to experiance any airline club more depressing) but nothing impressive nor even looked like it belonged to the 20th, never mind 21st century... thus, my excitement this morning to check this one out.

Other than that, I suppose leaving would also mean going home and deciding to confirm our one month stay here over the summer holidays. It's a lot of money for the service apartment we'd already checked out; but it'll be fun. Who wants to visit!? :) ...plus if I want to be anywhere hot and humid, I suppose there is no other place better then Tokyo.

Another Fun Night

If I was back home, right now would be breakfast and laundry time... instead, here I sit, listening to the husband's constant and mellow snore. He conked out the minute he hit the sack last night. I think the time difference is finally hitting him. It's bad when we stay longer for the usual three or four days when we travel to Asia... our bodies eventually get used to the time difference and then the drinking screws it up lol! ...and by the time it recovers, it's time to leave, bastards! Lol

Last night's adventure was with John again. We met promptly under the big screen at studio alta (a good area where people have made into a meeting point) and headed to Kitchen Shunju. We sat at the bar counter right in front of the open kitchen. Cool. Service was good and fast (sometimes too fast lol) and as usual, we started with our nama-biru (draft beer) and continued with two different types of Shunju sake. There was seriously tons of food and believe-or-not, leftovers! I know, you can just imagine how much food there was lol. Awesome food! I don't think I have had a bad or even mediocre meal all this trip. Of course I will suffer when I'm back at the gym on Monday morning but let's not spoil this entry by dirty, perverted thoughts lol!

After dinner John decided we go to a heavy metal bar. Yes, I kid you not. Of course we were game! Anything out of the ordinary is always welcome with us - well, especially in Japan. WOW! The music hit me like a concrete wall when we walked in. Serious holy shit scream-out-loud
make-me-deaf heavy-metal :) I think komt took pictures which I will post later. I was in a state of shock for a bit lol. No really, it wasn't bad... it's just been awhile since I've walked into a room (this bar was double the size of Deathmatch but still, no bigger then our master bedroom back home lol) welcomed by loud music like that - but one beer down and everything was solved. The ear got used to the now-what-seemed-like-calm-elevator-muzak hahahaha! Another lyechee liquor and soda later, I was ready to party lol!

Unfortunately, just as I was starting to get pumped, the men were ready to turn in for the night. Rats! What? No ramen? No karaoke?! This is it!? 'Home' before 1am?! Lol! As Memphis standards go, this would be considered a way serious party night lol but I, qomt, have been spoilt by way too much fun this week :) Got to get back to reality and head back home tomorrow to be the suburban housewife role I play normally hee hee.

But yes, another successful fun night out. Can't wait to return in the summer and enjoy, as John suggested, Tsukiji uni-don (sea urchin rice bowl)!! YUM!

Born!

Very quickly, some exciting news, I am an aunt again :) Yes, my little precious niece EKT - who will turn two in eleven days - is now a big sister!

No name yet for baby girl number two but happy dad (my baby brother) and his very tired wife after fifteen hours of labor would have to decide within the next three days. We're still hoping she's going to be Ellie... my brother says 'Hannah' or 'Chloe'. I'm sure the baby's daddy will win this one lol.

Right, time to set out to have another insane night here in Tokyo.

About Last Night...

It's past noon, the curtains in our room are still fully drawn. We haven't been out of the hotel (which is unlike us), not even to Matsuya to have breakfast. The husband just dozed off in the middle of his sentence while discussing lunch with me :) Poor guy must be exhausted and maybe even still drunk. I'm not all that genki either but I'll survive. Might just need another mini nap...

Last night was yet another crazy night. Correction, it was a typical night for us in Tokyo... we hung out with Otsu-san, Hamada-san and Kohno-san, all once komt's colleagues way before his teaching days. Among others, they were his constant source of Japanese culture... blind dates and often, teachers of crazy ridiculous Japanese phrases like 'watashi-no kyonyu-wa subarashi desu neh?' (my big boobies are excellent aren't they). That, incidentally, not surprising, was the first Japanese phrase I learnt from him when I met my husband lol. How impressive lol! I have since adopted Bruce's Japanese friends as my own and enjoy returning to their country to for endless crazy evenings, awesome meals, hilarious times trying to decipher what any of us are trying to say to each other with the (sometimes) communication breakdown between languages and culture. Whatever we do, we always have a really really nice time with together.

Our dinner and drinking session started on the forty-ninth storey of the Nomura Building in Nishi Shinjuku. Impressive view of course; though none of us saw much of it since we were seated away from any window; but Kohno-san's intention was good. Hibiki, as usual, never fails us. We;ve been to the one at shiodome, shinjuku and now this one at nishi-shinjuku. Food at this izakaya is always good, service prompt and the highlight for me was the part where they made tofu, yes, make - not cook, though they had to do that too, and then serving it immediately with the option of salt or soy sauce. Way cool and ultra delicious! Chicken nanban, sashimi, sushi, boiled vegetables with nama imo, tofu... ok I can't remember much more other than my yummy suehiro (sake) :)

Kohno-san, Hamada-san and Otsu-san were as usual, nice as can be. They talked sometimes about old colleagues while I listened to the bizarre personalities involved in the office. It's amazing how many oddities can happen in the corporate world where people get paid to do nothing hahaha. I'm sure it's not just a Microsoft thing - right? If that's the case, I should get a job - I'm great at doing nothing and at the same time look really busy. Actually, I think I might have already perfected that when working for my father :)

Three and a half hours of non-stop eating, too much beer, wine, sake and shochu later, we all sort of waltzed involuntarily out of the restaurant after two warnings from the staff that they were closed. Btw, this is the first time I have ever seen the husband and Kohno-san drunk lol! Quite a hilarious sight to be honest! The next 30 mins or so comes to us in fractions. Neither the husband nor I can seem to piece them together. Yes, temporary amnesia (unfortunately, not so temporary for me sometimes lol). No, neither of us can remember how we got from standing outside Hibiki to standing in the streets of Kabuki-cho - an area where even some Japanese fear entering lol. We don't remember if we took a cab or walked to the train station. We remember however, bidding our friends goodbye (maybe) at the train station... we remember being cold and walking towards our regular karaoke joint... we also remember not staying for karaoke because of the long wait after I looked at the list of parties- of-two ahead of us. We remember braving the cold and yup, decided on more drinks at our new found favorite bar, Deathmatch, for a couple more drinks each.

Between Deathmatch, acting crazy on the streets, buying KFC so I could go use the toilet (no we never got around to eating my wings and the husband's chicken sandwich) we decided it was a GREAT idea to have some good food. Not KFC however... I said good! Before we knew it, we were making videos outside Samraat and eating Indian food at two o'clock in the morning. Yes, of course it's normal to eat Indian food at two o'clock on a Thursday morning. Why do you think they're opened till 5am everyday? We weren't evn the only people craving for some garlic naan and egg plant curry in the middle of Shinjuku. ...and we were certainly not the loudest either lol.

Of course, we're moving a lot slower today... past noon or not, it's going to be much slower today and thank goodness we haven't got plans to see anyone at all. Tomorrow might be a repeat with John but for today, we're gonna have to recover... s-l-o-w-l-y.

Laugh Out Loud Funny

While I rest my head from the crazy night/ morning we had, enjoy this video.

Deathmatch Bar

Only a night out with John would have us end up at a bar in the Golden Gai district. Well, district would have you imagine vast area but in actual fact, golden gai only stretches one block as far as the eye can see. Yes, it's a small block jam packed with low-rise post war looking buildings that are filled with bars. Golden Gai is in Shinjuku, within kabuki-cho. Ok that doesn't make much sense to you... but that's where we ended up after a sinfully orgasmic yakiniku dinner filled with wagyu beef, more beef, kimchee and too much beer... and more beef. YUM! :)

Only a night out with John would have us end up at a bar like 'Deathmatch'. A bar that will sit no more than ten Japanese and certainly no more than six Americans lol. It's small... you get it. Of course, the first thing I NEED to do upon entering this space is look for a bathroom. Bathroom? Uh-oh... no bathroom? My first thought was - don't tell me I'm gonna' have to do the in-the-public stunt (again)?! That's another story for yet another day lol. Yes, of course there's a toilet. But I kid you not, it could barely fit me! None of that turning around and get comfortable deal. Ok, I don't usually do the dosy-doe in toilets but when you've had a couple too many, you never know what you're capable of doing sometimes lol. ...and of course, much like the complicated locks in Szombothe Hungary (yet another story there lol), I needed John's help to get me in, then again, yell for help, to get me out when I was done lol. Bloody embarassing man!

The decor inside the bar -a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire, the crazy wrestling belt, 'ren rou man tou' dvd (roughly translated; human flesh bread dumpling). For more pics go to the husband's flickr site.


Only a night out with John would make you feel like you're absolutely exhausted at a little past midnight when all you from 7pm till then was eat, drink and laughed all night. Good times! Guess what(!?) - we're repeating all this again on Friday night. Same people, same country, different restaurant and bar I'm sure and probably different drinks - can you imagine I have yet to have a drink of sake or shochu yet!? Speaking of which, owner-bartender- toilet- scrubber, Tsuyoshi-san (who lived outside Shanghai for a few years and does speak some Mandarin) makes a mean gin tonic.

NOTE: ...and just for my memory sake, we also met Kaburi-san (shit who knows if this is her correct name - I'm just horrible with names - it's as close to the right one as I can remember) who just returned from a job-related trip from Malaysia... had to write it down in case I see her back at the bar. Notes, guys, we always need notes.

DOOOH-NAHHHT!!!

The Krispy Kreme phenomenon has finally hit Tokyo!!! Unlike the people of Hong Kong who comaplained of the overly-sweet delicacy, the Japanese obviously love love love these donuts. Morning, noon and night, the line stands! Yes, the Japanese love anything sweet and they certainly don't mind the bloody never-ending lines.


We arrived at our 'home' station yesterday only to be greeted by a line of people on our way to our hotel - The Century Southern Tower aka Microsoft building. Where an uninteresting Italian bistro used to sit, now sits a more appropriate, much more people attracting with the ever enticing fragrance of... what is that smell? Donuts? Sugar? I don't know... it just smells GOOD!!! Yes, the seducing smell along had ALMOST got me standing in line AFTER breakfast this morning lol! I swear! Why would I stand in line for one donut when I can simply take the 10 minute drive to the one on Winchester back home? I don't know... it just smells so damn good here, I swear! You can smell it miles away! Maybe they're doing like they did when Beard Papa was a big thing here years ago one our first few trips to Tokyo together. They have this huge... and I mean HUGE fan blowing the smell, probably right from the oven, towards the train station lol. Hey, it worked! I mean, the husband and I were in line together with four gazillion other people waiting to get a custard puff. Unlike the locals who were getting dozens upon dozens of them, we stood in line for ever and asked for TWO-o-negaishimasu hahaha! I think we must have been the only ones who ordered those things in single digits ever again :) It is the same here with these bloody deliciously smelling donuts. People are walking away with dozens and dozens and dozens of them... I watched them enviously, salivating, and then swallowing my saliva... wishing I had more of a will-power to stop me from drooling...

Unfortunately, the Tokyo branch of Krispy Kreme sits at the base of our hotel, merely steps away... yes, I'm sure I will have at least one before I leave this country :s What can I say? I'm weak hahaha!

You Are A Redneck When...

You cleaned out your garage (yes, this is 'clean') to make space for...







...you're probably a redneck when you are drying out dead animals that
you'd probably hunted and killed lying out in your bloody garage for gawd
knows what... a hat?! lol


We live in a pretty small cove which consists of seven houses including ours. We have two direct neighbors. If you stand facing our house, on the left hand side would be the old couple neighbor (who calls us the 'hooneymooners', yes still) and on the other side would be the ones that will be talked about in today's entry. I haven't blogged about our neighbors ever (I don't recall at least), I don't know why. It's quite odd considering there is a lot to say about them. This particular family especially.

Background: Open garage all year round showing off an ugly, messy, full-of-crap space - sometimes with a jeep that usually sits outside, parked within the garage that is always dirty, always covered up in dried-up-mud.

Dad is in his early 50s, possibly mid... tall, balding, trim (I think) and definitely a hunter, an outdoorsy kind of guy. Seen him more than a few times in his full camouflage 'costume'.

Mom - nicknamed Betty Boop by other neighbors - is a pretty bespectacled 40 something, maybe older. I don't know, white people usually look older then they normally are anyway. Never seen her dressed up. Always in tees and shorts. Hardly Betty Boo to me...

Son - only child, a ginormous tall and big teenager... sixteen I presume since he just started driving... and probably not so bright since he goes to a crappy private school lol.

They are possibly a typical Memphian family. Religious, hunters (there's that word again), likes to blow things up in the middle of their driveway right next to ours, and always saying suggesting they're gonna' have us over but never do. I have seen the inside of their house (when they wanted to show me their grandmother's ivory mahjong set - yawn). No thank you! If I want to be there, I'd rather watch an episode of Sanford and Son. Really!! That's what the inside of their house reminds me of lol.

Who's Going To Singapore Day?!

WE ARE!!

What is Singapore Day? Well, according to the website, it's a day for overseas Singaporeans to gather and enjoy food from 'home' (cooked by whom will be a better question since we Singaporeans have high expectations when food is deemed 'Singaporean' worthy), and in a scary way, in their words, there will be 'an all-Singaporean line-up of the island nation's best and brightest entertainers to keep you entralled and longing for more'. Considering I have never been enthalled or longed for any of them, ok, maybe a few really funny ones - and possibly Darryl Davids and James Lye (lol), this should be an experiance lol.

Since it's the first time Singapore Day is celebrated, nobody knows what to expect. I certainly don't. But it should be fun since it'll be held at Bryant Park - unless there is a crazy downpour lol. It's apparently held in New York City because there are a lot of Singaporeans around that area... I honestly think there are more in the Bay area but oh well, what do they care what I think. They're expecting 1000 people. I say it's gonna' be swamped with more Americans. We'll see. I'll update you after the weekend.

So any one of you interested?

Another Check Writer

What is it with Americans?! Do they not understand what going-paperless mean? It's the year 2007 already! Normal people - like me (don't laugh) don't even received 'real bills' ie, via snail mail. Everything is done via the computer! That's what progress means. That's how you don't waste other people's time - like mine lol.

People don't even read the newspaper anymore - which is why I don't understand why the Memphis Commercial Appeal keeps sending us FREE papers littering our front yard! That annoys the hell out of me. Yes, I've tried calling them and telling them to stop but it continued. They don't seem to understand that by throwing the papers onto the front yard everyday while we're travelling actually gives us an extra reason NOT to subscribe to their silly paper because it makes us a bigger target for burglary! The husband had to eventually write a nasty email to them. Yeah it worked. Want to read the commercial appeal? Read it online lah!

Come on, everything is done via the internet today. So why are you Americans out there - and believe me, it's not just the old folks who are writing checks out for $5 dollar at the grocery store - you know who you are. It aggravates me (and I know I'm not the only one) and everyone else standing behind the person. What is so hard about using a credit or debit cards do. Omfg(!), what about the ones who HAVE to balance their check book before they get out of line. Gawd help them if I'm ever in a hurry!

I'll try to take a pic of the next person in front of me at the grocery store who writes a check lol.

I Don't Care Why You're Crying...

No, I'm not the most sympathetic person - komt will tell you in a minute. That, however, does not make me a bad friend, usually. Ok, it does for all the people I've written about in here lol!

Yesterday, at jazzercise, I was having a pretty light conversation with R. Since I haven't been attending any jazzercise classes in months, it was nice to catch up a little before the class started. Before I knew what was going on, R ran into the arms of this older lady (yes, in the midst of our conversation about my trip to China) and sobbed loudly and non-stop. I, of course, slowly faded into the background trying to not look too embarassed or curious. How could anyone be so upbeat one minute and then be crying so quickly seconds later? It turns out that R's mom had passed away - she managed to tell me with a smile after she regained her composure... and in her words, she's not doing well. I related my condolences and went on with my life and conversation with someone else. Hey, R is only an acquaintance and I am not shy about saying I don't care. I don't know her nor her mother and yes, I'm sure she's sad, but it's not my job to be there for her...

Then today, after BLT class (bacon-lettuce-&-tomato I wish(!) - it's buns-legs-&-thighs - and no, if you're wondering, I'm still not losing weight nor am I enjoying it), I saw the regular group of pretty mothers of elementary school aged kids huddled outside class obviously consoling one of the pack. N, the Russian girl and I like to call them the 'pretty mothers' 'coz they're a bunch attractive, slim and ALWAYS talking women. Oh they love hearing themselves talk about their wonderful kids and successful husbands during classes. They complain non-stop even though they're holding their 3 pound weights and admit aloud that they can probably do the routine all day... my question is, how can you talk in a class when you're supposed to be exerting yourselves on the stantionary bike, concentrating and listen to the instructor over loud music all at the same time!? ...anyway, I realized quickly that one of them was crying. Of course, I made my quick exit towards the lounge area and hung around to chat with other folks while I munched on my daily apple. By the way, I was told by an Indian friend today that a person who does not share her food will not be able to digest her food well. I guess she was trying to tell me to bring more apples tomorrow or else hahaha!

R - our well-liked instructor came over after awhile and filled me in on the story of the crying white girl. Apparently, he'd done a body composition test on her earlier that morning and it turns out that her bmi (body mass index) is as high as her 65 year old mother's. I looked puzzled. 'SO?!'. He rolled his eyes. 'She can't get over it...'. You know, people need to pick their own battles... and if this is the bloody sorry ass battle this lady picks to fight today, she's in for some serious trauma later lol. R explained to me that with her working out a lot daily and only eating one meal a day just isn't helping her... DUH! You don't have to be Einstein to know that! I wish I had that kind of problem lol!

The gym is not a place to cry or give your feelings away, I feel. What a downer! It's a place where people go to feel good (whether it's about themselves or someone else)... crying just doesn't fit into the game plan. Go home and sob in the privacy of your own space... outsiders really don't care. Ok, outsiders who are Singaporeans (might like to know) but really don't care. :) Trust me.

I Would Be The Most Horrible Teacher A Kid Could Ever Have

The husband came home from school yesterday and told me he'd experianced yet another first (again) after almost six years of teaching. Yes, he's saved a kid's life using the heimlich manouvre, he's made one, then several more boys, cry... but yesterday, he topped that all and made a kid pee in his pants! Seriously! Really! The man known to most of my friends as the nicest-person-they'd-ever-met made a twelve year old boy wet his bloody pants!

Actually it really wasn't his fault but the poor kid had raised his hands to go the bathroom and apparently, he thought he saw the teacher 'mouth' a big fat hairy 'NO' hahahaha! ...and so... what does a person do when he thinks he's not allowed to go to the bathroom? Well of course! Pee in his pants! Poor kid. After everyone left the classroom - it was fortunately, the last class of the day, he just sat there while the husband asked if he needed help.

Fortunately, the kind soul that my husband is not only did not laugh (I would not have been that nice of course, as I am the rough cruel bee-itch that everyone knows me as - and quite rightly so lol), he found a pair of shorts in lost-and-found and rescued yet another boy in distress. Ahhh... my prince! ...and everyone else's it seems lol.

I thought for sure the boy's parents would lodge a complaint to the school towards the 'unkind teacher'; then again, which self-respecting boy would tell anyone, even the most understanding of all parents, that he'd gone pee pee in his pants in class while everyone was listening to algebraic equations being jack-hammered into their teenage filled-with-nothing-but-lusting-after-girls (and/or boys)-thought brains... :D

I'd let you on into my secret: I'm waiting for the day for KOMT to come home to tell me all about the boy who crapped his pants lol! Look at all the fun I'm missing not serving the community by being a teacher and instead staying at home burning time on this blog hahaha!

T.M.I

Ever thought you're having a casual conversation with someone you see everyday - but are not friends with them - and suddenly find yourself in a conversation you didn't realize you were heading towards? Funny, I seem to land myself in that situation quite a lot lately...

Today, I was in the toilet after my day's workout routine and as usual, almost daily, I ran into the red-haired (when I say red-hair, I don't mean the ang moh auburn shaded hair... I mean fire-engine screaming red colored hair) light-skinned (or light skinded as some of them call themselves) African-American janitor. I don't know her name despite having chatted with her a gazillion times and know where her joints hurt, her doctor's name at Baptist East and today, I found out more than I cared to know - her sex life. I kid you not!! Aunt Jemima (let's just call her that) is super friendly. She's about 50 yrs old, again, the distinctive short super red hair and walks with a slight limp from her knee surgery. She's as southern as can be and refers to everyone she talks to as 'baby' or 'honey'. I'm usually 'baby'.

Yesterday, after my swim, Aunt Jemima told me to make sure I dried my hair before going out into the cold or I'd catch 'piumonia'. No mistake in my spelling. That's exactly how she pronounced it. Today, she fussed at me when I dried my hands on my sweaty shirt. Oh, don't get me wrong, Aunt Jemima is the sweetest... but sometimes, I suppose we need to be a little more careful with how we direct our conversations...

Today... yikes today... I have no idea how we got onto talking about sex because at first she was asking me if we could switch lives because she assumed I have a good life since I spend most of my mornings at the Germantown Centre gigglings and laughing with people (when I'm not groaning, moaning and complaining while working out). She also figured out I have no kids - I gather that someone must have mentioned it to her (like someone has got this insane rumor out that I am a nurse lol). But just as when we were talking about the no-kid syndrome and she let me know that she, too, has no kids, and is thrilled about it... she started going on about her five miscarriages that two were some form of tubular pregnancies. She told me to tell ALL men (ok, I'm married I don't know who else I would be telling) that a man can bump and grind and do all the loving he wants but do not 'drop' a baby in us! Before I knew what was going on, Aunt Jemima, low and behold, was showing me what to do if a man 'drops it' in you. Hey, don't kill the messenger, I'm only quoting! Omg I swear, she was sitting on the toilet and giving me all sorts of sound affects, I kid you not, like she's squeezing what the guy 'dropped' in her out! No, she did not pull down her pants but omg that was traumatic enough! I guess Aunt Jemima must be a little deaf because she's loud! With her booming tenor voice plus the confined space of the three-cubicle toilet's echoe, I myself was going deaf and dumber by the minute.

I didn't know how to get out of it... I even had one hand on one door and checking my time (pretending like I had somewhere, anywhere, to go). But Aunt Jemima went on. Omg did she go on... she went on to tell me how she told her dead husband she would kill him if she'd gotten her pregnant (I wonder who got her the 5 miscarriages those times) and how she would not kill him with her fist, a knife or an axe but with a pistol! No I'm not making any of this up! Just go ask Sean the receptionist who was in tears by the time I walked out of the toilet.

Too much information Aunt Jemima! Waaaayyy too much!! Can't say it wasn't funny though.

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As most of you have already noticed, this blog has a new look; in color, style and on the right hand side of the page, new links, information, even ads! Content is, as you've read, the same.

Let me know how you like it. Not that I would change anything if you told me you hated it but at least I'd know lol! Ok, I will consider changing some things if the majority of you hate it but no promises :)

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CNY 2007

Another Chinese New Year (CNY) in Memphis. This year, we were invited by the husband's student, Brian Zhang, to go to the big celebration at the University of Memphis where we were surprised to see Brian perform in an ethnic Chinese dance. It certainly was entertaining. The teacher was taking pictures and videos like a proud parent. It was quite funny to see :) We also got to enjoy many cny meals with different groups of friends - which was a very nice thing. But I think I've just about had enough of Chinese food lol.

This year unlike the pasts many CNYs here, we're not having a big celebration at home. I'm tired of taking a week of my precious life, decorating, cooking and making sure everything is perfect for the party for a bunch of ungrateful asses. There is a core group of people who are our friends whom we see often. Special occasion or not, we meet and eat somewhere in town. But there is this other group of people - mostly the husband's friends (or so called 'friends') who are fun people that we have been inviting for the last few years. However, we're tired of being the invitors year after year. These people don't understand the meaning of either being friends or the meaning of reciprocacity (sp?). We see them once a year at our house... they rant and rave about my cooking and then kindly thank us when they leave. Then we don't hear or see them again until we invite them again for another cny party. No, it's not about repayment. We don't need anyone to buy us a meal and there is no ulterior motive in inviting anyone. But it's about being friends and how you treat your friends! When someone invites you to their party annually, don't you think you should at least make some effort to call to say 'hi' or just meet up for drinks?!? Something, anything... of course unless they don't like us... then why do they keep coming to our parties?!

So no cny party at hom this year. The core group of friends know we're not having it. But the husband and I have decided that we're not telling anyone else. Let them know they are on my who?-list. Much like the DJ and his drunk wife (the ones who came to our party, got wasted and acted like a fool then doesn't contact us till nine months later with a Christmas card asking us when they should take off their shoes and come for another cny party lol). Yes, at least they sent a card huh lol. But yes, they, like my sil are on the no-more-invite-list. I think I've already blogged about why my sil will no more be invited. She refused to remove her shoes at our house. Bitch! lol