My Mil's Going Home...

...and we're not going to be here!!!

Yes, you read right... much to my disdain and shock, Bruce told me last night after he returned from bringing his mother yet another nutritious meal from Mickey D's ("double cheeseburger, same as always" Bruce mutters gripingly from upstairs when I asked him awhile ago what he got her - I could almost hear his eyes rolling - a woman's thing) that my mil will be discharged tomorrow (Saturday). Yes, tomorrow! Has she seen her doc since she's been in rehab? Well no, she postponed her appointment this past Tuesday 'coz she couldn't possibly get out of bed on her own and thus couldn't possibly get herself into the ambulance. Err... ok... people aren't usually expected to do so ON THEIR OWN! That's why it's a freakin' am-bu-lance, not a phucking fairy ride to wonderland gawdammit! So, no doctor has okay'd this discharge. But someone must have told her 'yes it's ok leave!'. ...or more like 'get the phuck outta' here now!'. I bet the physical therapist and the staff there can't wait to get rid of her so they must have said it's alright for her leave. Go(!)... Now(!)... No, YESTERDAY! Problem: She lives in a two-storey house where it takes a few steps up into the house, one big one into the kitchen and possibly more into the living room where she claims she will be living for awhile. Some nice soul had helped her bring a bed down - it wasn't Bruce nor Valerie, not Derk and certainly not me! Oh, she paid someone... Wait, she's forgotten ONE thing. ALL bath facilities are on the 2nd storey!!! Shut up!! No, I'm serious! Eeeeeeeee!!! ...and knowing her, she'd let a day or two go by and ask her 'lesbian companion' (ok, not really lesbian companion but they do look and act like a couple of grumbling old bitches) to get Lucy home. Lucy is her very overweight, under exercised 100lb boxer (given to her by my very smart sil) who used to be left in a cage all day (while my mil was at work or running errands) until she got home so maybe the dog could run her over. Lucy is at some fancy (mil's words here, not mine) dog hotel where she's probably praying my mil nor Katie come end her life in paradise and return to the pig sty she once lived in. Granted, my mil loves Lucy like... like she loves Bruce HAHAHAHA!

So my too-ready-to-leave-the-rehab mother-in-law will be leaving the rehab facilities tomorrow. We will be in Seattle (woohoo!!!), and I don't know what her god-sent (her words again, not mine OBVIOUSLY) daughter is doing 'coz she's apparently asked a friend of hers from work AND her ex-wrestler husband to come take her home. My very sensitive mil explained that she can't possibly spoil Valerie's long labor day weekend by asking her to help. Hmm... so it's ok to ask Loy and her husband? She's a funny woman, isn't she? Loy is possibly a super nice lady... but if she's my mil's good friend and anything like her, she's bitching about first, having to wait for that dreaded call from my mil and then having to spend a nice Saturday going to help a half-handicapped woman who smells funny (not funny ha-ha mind you) and have to see her husband carry another woman through the threshold. Now THAT'S funny ha-ha to me!

My mil is not the least happy that we'd be out of town. When Bruce told her we'd be out of town this weekend about a week ago, apparently she already was planning her discharge then. She asked him who would help her discharge IF she could? His answer was " mom, just stay!". Hmm... now that I think about it, she has been plotting this for awhile. She wouldn't allow the staff there to weigh her (hahaha, would you if you've been eating double cheeseburgers and fried chicken for two weeks?), she wouldn't go to the doctor's... WOW! She's a lot sneakier then I thought!!!

I'm sure all the nice Chinese daughters-in-law out there are horrified at my postings about my mil. But hey, I didn't marry a white boy so I could live the rest of my life taking care of my mother-in-law, thank you very much. The only person I'd take care of is my beloved husband. Ok, I'd have to take care of my parents too but thank goodness, they have a daughter-in-law who is MUCH nicer then I am!