Heaven's So Got A Place For Me

I just got back from my mil's. I did as I was told and called her before I left, jotted everything down and got on my not-so-merry way towards her house. Yes, of course I got her everything she asked for on her shopping list including the 10lbs of dog food for Lucy, who apparently will be home tomorrow - with the help of my genius sil. Poor Lucy, back to the slammers in that confined cage.

So I arrived at the house and my mil had told me to go in through the back door via the side gate. Honestly, I never knew there was a gate that could lead me into the yard... so with the six grocery bags, the pack of dog food and a bag filled the brink with her mail (yes, I was very nice to have saved Bruce a trip into hell), I found the latch on the wooden fence that blended in with the gate. I walked very carefully with the dried leaves cracking under my weight, opened the first door that I got to and walked into what seemed like a really noisy laundry room. Huh!? I was very impressed. I actually thought she was doing laundry. It smelt a little different... and it was extra warm in there. I peered by the bag of dog food that stood in front of my fat face and found myself standing in the pool room (where all the generators stood in leaves and dirt). Okay, wrong door, wrong room... I proceeded to the second door, sucked in as much air as I could get and walked into the house. My mil was in the kitchen with the physical therapist (pt) - his first session there since she got home (five days ago) and still filling up gazillions of forms asking her questions she wasn't thrilled about answering. I said hi to both of them and started putting everything away (see, I'm not as heartless as you guys think I am; even though I should have walked away at this point before the stories began). My mil was going on about the Hill Plumbing people - don't know if it was to me or to him but I half listened and didn't respond. The pt exclaimed in his what-seemed-like Nigerian accent, 'I'm SO glad you're here - she's driving me insane! She has too much energy!!!' and laughs nervously. I laughed and nodded towards his direction. Poor guy... then again, he's probably smelly too if he's Nigerian so he can be her next best friend after her lesbian companion, Katie lol.

I hung around a little, listened to her bitch and moan about Dr Chin from the rehab who'd insulted her kids (apparently, she was ranting and raving to him about both her god-sent children and he remarked 'if they're so wonderful what are you doing at this rehab?') Now you've got to love a doc with balls like that lol - as long as he's not my physician lol. I wonder if he's the father of Bruce's wonder kids in school with no personality named Chin as well. That would make sense :) Anywayz, I must have stayed for a good 30 mins... oh, for fyi, liquid hand soap is the best! They smell awesome! Even though the house wasn't as stinky as I remembered, I washed my hands twice while I was there and stood there smelling my soapy-smelling hands half the time. Gawd, my mil and the pt must think I have some hand fetish or something queer. But hey, it made much difference. Trust me!

I've updated Bruce on what went on at my 'visit'. He's not a happy camper after he heard that my sil's helping their mom bring Lucy home tomorrow. Gawd forbid the poor dog after a week at 'camp' being a little more energetic and strong, runs my mil over. Now THAT would be hell and beyond!!

Anywayz, I've done my good deed for the day. No, for the year! So if those damn suicide bombers think they're taking up all that space for killing themselves and a bunch of innocent people in this world, they have another thing coming for them! Believe me, I'd be in no mood to deal with those camel jockies if I'm dead and have to stand in line with a bunch of them ahead of me!