Unloading

Well, Friday was a weird day for me. I had to deal with a bunch of crying people - which I do not like to deal with as much as I do not like to hug or be hugged. Now that doesn't mean I won't hug or be hugged and that I'd get upset when it happens like Cindy's husband gets when men hug his wife lol. Truly. He claims it's a conformity to the American culture. I say he's just an insecured jealous bastard; and if hugging/conforming is bad then go back to bloody Singapore, you Chinaman - why do you insist on staying and waiting on that Green Card?!

Friday was D-day for Rosa and Cher's move to Philly so we met up for brunch and then I got them to the airport. Wow, when I left home at an tender age of almost 17, I didn't even cry - my mom did a little but that's a mom thing. But I couldn't understand why these people were crying SO hard! It just seemed funny to me especially since they were still gonna' be in this country; and it was their choice to leave Memphis and their friends. Weird. I'm not being heartless. I just don't understand people's pysche I guess. So I had to deal with all of that at the airport... the crying and having to form a circle and pray with the rest of the friends who'd come to say good bye to the family. OMG that freaked me out lol. I always used to stare at people who did that and thought it lame. Now, I KNOW it's lame lol. I'd feel sorry for those people who are put in that situation like I was but my goodness, do Christians just assume that 'coz I'm a friend of a Christian I, like them, pray for safety and a good future and stuff like that? I honestly don't know how that would make me feel better. In fact, I think I'd feel more at risk on a flight lol. But anywayz, yes, I'd miss Rosa, Cher and the kids. But they're only an email, a phone call and a plane ride away. No biggie! Plus I'm sure new friends will come along. Yes, the inevitable: life goes on.

That same afternoon, in the midst of our afternoon nap, I was abruptly woken up by the telephone ring. It was Cindy. Either she had read my blog about her (don't remember if I'd mentioned my blog to her but oh well...) or I must have really sounded upset on the phone (both in NYC when I'd last spoken to her and at that moment answering the phone reacting to her voice). Cindy (see prvious post on her) called, in tears, asking for forgiveness and not to be mad at her. She asked me to forget about all the bad pictures she'd painted about her husband 'coz they're not true at all. She told me that something had happened and she can't tell me why. She told me that I won't understand her (damn straight!) and that she would love to do more for me (no thank you I'm quite happy the way my own life is going!) but she doesn't drive and that's why she can't (excuses!). She told me she wasn't trying to take advantage of me and wasn't expecting me to go pick her up at the hotel in NYC. She told me that she really treasures my friendship (friends don't treat friends that way). She asked if I had a good trip in NYC. DUH I went to see my friend Gen and of course we had a ball. Did she think I was gonna' get upset with her and spoil my own trip? Piece of work!

After my last posting on her, it's helped me a ton to get stuff off my chest. And by then, she was already history to me and I have since gone on; of course! So when she called and kept saying 'please don't be mad at me', it just brought all the raw feelings back. I got perturbed but I kept my cool and between her sobs for 25 minutes, I unloaded big time. I figured she needs to know. I told her to have a backbone and if she wasn't happy here, go home (same for idiot husband), I told her that whether or not she means to take advantage of me, things don't work that way long term 'coz people catch on to things and I don't need her in my life 'coz she brings absolutely nothing on her plate - not even a damn good joke lol; I told her that if she's gonna' not help herself in her life, she won't meet many people who'd give her a second chance in life (and I certainly won't be the first). I told her she shouldn't let her husband control how her life goes and if she's not happy, speak the hell up 'coz she's responsible for that much; I told her how I can't understand what kind of a man her husband is to keep her at home like an abused pet and she actually stays and accepts it; I told her I wasn't the only one who was getting annoyed with her complaining about the Americans and Mexicans (and the racism her husband claims he's facing at work) and then talk about how great Christianity has been to them; I told her to chill the hell up and stop crying but she couldn't. It was annoying me and oddly enough, I felt nothing except wonder what is wrong with her (even more then before). I did ask if she was ok ('coz of the uncontrollable crying) and at first she didn't answer me. I asked if she needed help, still no answer. She eventually mastered a quiet 'yes'. But maybe she was crying out for help and again, I stress, no one can help her if she won't help herself. I told her I've lived away from home for so long and I've always understood how important friends are. Nobody had to teach me that. It all comes in the path of being away from the people you love and loves you unconditionally. I told her she may still be ignorant about that sort of thing but it is no excuse that her husband is in the dark with that having been in the US for more than seven years. I asked her why they have no knowledge of common courtesy. How two grown people in their 30s not know common social mores?! That when people invite them to their house over and over and over again, they need to take the cue and initiative to plan something as well. It's not a calculative thing. It's just common courtesy. That Rosa and Cher just stopped inviting them over altogether 'coz there was simply no reciprocation. It's not that we need them to buy us a meal... but there was never even talk from them about getting together - ever. She asked if Rosa was mad at her. Of course not - and I told her. Rosa has two kids and the last thing on her mind is 'What is Cindy up to?'. But at this point I was thinking, 'what is wrong with her? So what if we're all mad at her'. Who the hell cares!? I sure wouldn't! My first thought when she couldn't stop crying was that her husband is hitting her. I don't know why. But I'm pretty creative when I let my mind wander. Or she'd been raped and that's why this fear of being out in public alone. While it may be these things or not, I can't do anything else for her. I have been the only person here in Memphis to do anything for her - certainly a lot more than the man who is supposed to love and care for her most (NOT!) and from what I see, there are no plans from him to make her life easier or better. I say if I don't see her again for another 6 months, nothing will change in her life. She'd still be a bad cook, she'd still be friendless, she'd still be miserable. She MIGHT have her driver's license but she'd be too chicken shit to drive on her own - or he wouldn't let her have the car while he's at work. But, her stay here this time is also temporary and she's returning to Singapore in a couple of weeks. She claims she might be back towards the end of the year but I doubt it and uh-huh, I don't care.

Please, no more crybabies for the month of May.