Why I Can't Shop At Walmart Anymore

I cannot shop at Walmart anymore - not in 10 lifetimes. We just returned from getting some hangers there and it's been at least six months since I was last there. Tonight, my final time shopping there has reminded me why I will not be seen back there ever again? No, I cannot let myself ever shop at Walmart ever again. Not in ten lifetimes! No... not because those stupid Christians on TV actually took out airtime to tell us not to - what do they know, they believe in freakin' fairies! Not because it's now a little farther away from us since we have a second, even bigger and fancier Target closer to our house... and it certainly is not because it is probably the cheapest place in town to buy ANYTHING. I just can't shop at Walmart anymore because:

1. I feel like I'm in New Orleans after the hurricane DURING looting
2. I don't feel like I'm actually shopping in the US nor any civilized nation
3. People working there don't have the attention span of a 3 yr old - they can't
check you out without talking to the cashier three aisles away or the last
customer they'd just checked out
4a. They have an "Express Lane" for customers buying 20 items or less (95 percent of the people have 20 items or less). That means you can choose between the Express Line (with 28 people waiting) or the other lines (with 3 people each with 472 items). Nice choice...
4b. The people in the Express lane can pay with coins, third party checks, coupons, gift certificates, currency they printed on inkjet printers, and anything else they can barter.
4c. The Express Lane has this sign posted: "Only 20 Itmes Please". While I appreciate the courteous use of "please", I wish they would have spelled it "pleeze" to keep with Walmart's Holiday Illiteracy theme.
5. I can't deal with shopping with hobos
6. I don't respect people who buy candle warmers so can keep their rooms scented
without burning their candles
7. I don't respect people who try to save every cent and buy a potato peeler that
peels them curly fries
8. I don't need to save 30 cents per shopping trip
9. I don't want to be shot if I honk at a moronic driver in the parking lot
10. It's a suckie shopping experiance no matter the time of the day
11. I prefer quality versus quantity
12. Target is SOOO much nicer (and it's not even that nice)!

It's so bad ROMT is even thinking of dropping our Sam's Club membership and moving to Costco. It's a sad day when we think about leaving Sam's Club, not because it's bad, but because it sits next to Walmart.