Monday, December 19, 2005

Another One Bites The Dust

Another divorce.

I just got off the phone with my college room-mate. What can I say...

I received a not-so-happy email from Melody last night accusing me of not keeping in contact. Now Melody and I have were roomies for a year in college. We got along well and had fun. She wasn't exactly the partying type of girl but she was a good enough room-mate and we laughed a lot together. She wasn't the most well liked girl on campus but I liked her. She was nice to me. I was probably the first non-American she'd ever come across and I doubt she's met many more since me. She tolerated my insanity and I tolerated her mess - how, I don't even know. We always got along well - even when we hated each other's guts. It's hard to explain. But it's easy to recognize our difference once you walk into our rooms. Her side of the wall is filled with Disney characters and mine, well, mine was filled with half naked men (hey, I'm the normal one here! :D). We email and chat online once in awhile but certainly not religiously. Needless to say when I got this email I was a little surprised. I wrote back and gave her a brief update of my life and asked the same of her. Well, I got a shock this morning when I read that she, like the rest of my other high school and college girlfriends, is getting a divorce .

Of course I called her immediately. A little worried. I've never met her husband but the few times I have communicated with him on the phone, he's never come across as being 'nice'. She answered the phone sounding suspicious. I was using my calling card so it probably read a Denver number. "KAREN!!", she screamed immediately recognizing the way I yell 'Melody!'. She still talks like she's home for the weekend from school and updating me on her life in in-the-middle-of-nowhere-vernon, connecticut. Thirteen years have swooshed by. Wow, how I have changed and like-to-believe, progressed, and how she err... hasn't. She's got a graduate degree in horticulture. Yet, since graduation, she's been working at the Disney Store - big shock there, NOT! Then she started telling me how HOT Mark is... uh oh, I just knew where the conversation was heading. "MELODY, YOU CHEATED ON YOUR HUSBAND!?" She laughs... . I repeated my question. A little amused to be honest. I just can't understand why my friends have all gone down the same path. ...and to be honest, it's rather demoralizing. Meloday makes it number... gawd who can keep track of all of my friends who have cheated on their husbands and/or getting a divorce. What is it with these girls I know!?!? Then she told me how she lost 80 pounds since April this year blah blah blah. WOW! Granted, it's a lot of weight (it's practically one whole person!). But she's known this Mark fella (apparently) for the last ten years! Doesn't that say something about him??? Oh well, what can I say. She says I won't understand. Little does she know, from all the crap I've heard all my girlfriends tell me, I understand better then anyone else out there. Yes, she married a 50 year old man beyond his years whom she shouldn't have and wants out. I get that. But she didn't have to wait till she lost 80 pounds and slept with another man to do that! Sad...

It makes me wonder about women who get married out of pressure. I know some of these girls I know certainly did. I also know some married girlfriends who aren't the most sensitive when putting a question across. Why do married women make single women believe that being married would make everything better? Worst, why would our parents make me believe that? LOL! Yes, sometimes, if you're lucky, life really is better. I got lucky! VERY LUCKY! Still, not every women, obviously, gets to be like me - and realizes it. So why are we made to feel that we need to have a man in our lives? Why are we made to feel once hitched, it's time to have a baby?! You have no idea how many times my married friends with kids tell me to stop 'posing' and go start a family. I HAVE A FAMILY! It's Bruce and I. We have a full night's rest every night and we're happy.

If you have a single girlfriend out there, don't try and set her up. Please don't ask her why she's single because either she wants to be single or she obviously doesn't know the answer to that stupid question. People are sometimes quite contented with where they are. Ever thought of that? No need to mess them up. Keep your 'good deeds' to yourselves. Otherwise it won't be too long before someone else get another girlfriend calling or emailing them about another rendezvous or ugly divorce procedure.

1 comment:

Eileen N. said...

Hey Karen, I'm sorry to hear what your friend has gotten herself into, but somehow, I have lost the idea of the purpose of marriage, especially when married women are blessed with spending their lives with the one they vowed to love but chose not to in the end, while single souls like us are praying to have that happy ending in the end. I'm glad that you cherished your "little family", at least you are that one decent soul who appreciates the joy of happy marriage!