America Makes Me More Chinese

In Singapore the term used to describe someone as being very Chinese would be 'cheena obiang'. A derogatory term calling someone 'too Chinese' - if you know what that means. You know, the greasy straight flat hair parted in the centre, glasses so thick you can hardly see the eyes that were already small enough to be blind-folded by dental floss, speaks nothing but a Chinese language so loud your family back home can hear him. To put it simply, just a Chinese who is immediately recognized (or guessed) to be from Mainland; someone who seems rather fresh-off-the-boat'y :D Crude in mannerisms and personality. Forever stuck in their own little Chinese world.

While I have neither straight flat hair and gawd forbid, parted from the centre of my forehead, nor do I speak as loud as any typical Mainlander does (tho' I'll admit, I am loud lol), I am Chinese. I don't seem to look very Chinese to most people. I see that as a problem since most people think I'm Filipina or Hawaiian. Someone has even asked me what tribe I'm from thinking I'm Native Indian and one thought I was this Indian girl's sister (yes, the ones with the dot on the forehead). WTF!? But, living in the US of A has made me come to embrace being Chinese a lot more than I did ten, certainly twenty years ago when I was a mere know-it-all (well, know anything but Chinese) teenager.

This morning, I had a surprise IM message from my cousin's 21 year old daughter while I was listening to my itunes and catching up on email. She was gasping in surprise that she could see my playlist for a good hour of Chinese pop. Jay , Jerry, Jolin, Jacky, F4, LeeHom, you name it! Sure I listened to some Chinese songs growing up. Lord knows mom sang only Chinese songs to my baby brother and myself when we were kids - the same songs our little EKT is listening to now. But Chinese pop music wasn't exactly my forte. I could hum a couple of Emil and Jacky songs but which Chinese can't? These days, I look feverishly for them online, when I'm in Chinatown in NY, even in Japan when I'm at HMV.

I think it's because I'm returning to my roots. Being older now, living in a city where there are hardly Asians and speaking Mandarin means I'm talking to my mom or a couple of friends on the phone or maybe the Taiwanese sushi chef in town. I'm even trying to read the Chinese subtitles when I'm watching Chinese dubbed Korean series and making a point to match what they say with what I read. Insane as it might sound, but I can certainly read more Chinese chararters now then when I was in school when it mattered most lol.

Oh well, that's what living in America has done to me. I am now practically 'cheena' minus the physical charateristics . I suppose being surrounded by a bunch of not-the-brightest non-Chinese and non-Mandarin-speakers who I love to bitch about will do that to you. I only wish I could bitch it to someone else who will understand :D