Shut Up Already!

Short entry.

I just wanted to say... if you go to the gym and/or workout-class, keep your bloody conversations and gossips to before and after class! A group of my fellow exercisers and myself are really tired of hearing your murmurs (some a lot louder) throughout class! You obviously are not working hard enough to be out of breath - get out of class if it's that important or just don't bother coming into the gym at all! It's very aggravating for me when I'm trying to concentrate when people behind me are constantly going on about their husbands, their body-parts or worst of all, their bloody kids!! Arrgh!

Yesterday in the gym, I was on the ellyptical trainers and the lady beside me and the one next to her were talking so bloody loudly I could hear them with my earphones on and the volume of the tv almost to the max. I was SO annoyed. Much more annoyed 'coz I perssonally know the woman next to the one beside me and didn't want to let her know I saw her. She's that annoying lush, wife of local celebrity radio dj, whom we have banned from coming to our annual Chinese new year party lol!

My Russian friend says she's going to confront one of these groups and probably will get into an argument of some sort and be thrown out of the centre hahaha! She's a lot more annoyed about this situation then I am but she doesn't have a blog :) So this one's for you, N :D

Mother's Day 2007

For weeks I've dreaded today's celebration of my mil. Mother's day. Blah! I don't dislike my mil. She's a nice lady (most of the time) but she just says the most painfully insane things to get people's attention - especially her son's. She's not mental-institution-insane (yet) though one might be able to make a good arguement if you knew her like her son lol. But for weeks, she's been threatening to have us at her house for this celebration. I should have taken the husband's word and believed that she would not be able to keep her word about having her house cleaned out (even though it's not her doing it but simply getting other people to clean). I should have trusted her son, my husband, who knows her through and through. But because I didn't, I upset myself on more than one occasion, which in turn, upset the husband over at least one meal... but it's now 5:22pm on mother's day 2007 and I'm happy to say, that's all over and done with. Hallelujah!!! Praise (fill in the blanks with whatever fictitious character you believe in here) ______.

I wrote the below when I was upset - thought I'd just add it in here, why not :)

If I'm a mother...

I wouldn't feel like less of a woman on damn mother's day
I wouldn't have to share it with anyone else but my own mother, my husband and my kid... and if the husband wants to share it with his mother, hey, that's ok by me (maybe) lol
I would understand why mothers love their mama's boys
I would understand unconditional parental love to idiotic un-returnable kids
I wouldn't upset the husband about not wanting to go to his mom's eeiky house for dessert
I would be pampered (extra) on mother's day
I would add 'everyday's mother's day' to my now, 'everyday's my birthhday!' comment
I might understand how and why my married friends with kids cheat on their husbands
I wouldn't be writing this crap and probably screaming at my kid now
I wouldn't be able to buy expensive bags and shoes 'coz I'd be buying expensive kids' crap
I'd have to deal with other people's kids and worst, their parents and teachers
I'll be 37, look 47 and feel 57! (no mail from you moms out there thank you very much!)
There goes all my freedom travelling whenever, wherever

...SO BLOODY GLAD I'M NOT A PHUCKING MOTHER! Just for one sorry ass a day in a year to be appreciated!? No bloody thank you!!! ...'coz you know... my son will come home with a wife a gazillion times more evil, more selfish then myself hahahahaha!

The King Makes The Papers (Again)!

Unlike the last time, the king did not make another all-feature article about him - if interested, you can read that article here. But... he did get named by his college friend, Geoff, writer of this article, to be not only a math teacher but math genius hahaha! We had a good laugh this morning when the husband read the article to me in the midst of my third nap :) Now Google's got no excuse not to give him a phat expat package lol!

If you're into basketball and how the draft lottery is calculated (I assume most of my readers are not that into conditional probability), then all you're interested is what they said specifically about my husband? Well, this is it :D

Did you confirm this with a local math genius?

Yes. His name is Bruce Ryan, he went to Harvard and he teaches math at Memphis University School.

Cool. Are the MUS kids developing an interest in probabilities because of the lottery?

"Actually," said Ryan, "they're interested in probabilities because of poker."

But, if you're interested in the depth of the NBA draft lottery (yawn!), below is the entire article... :)

NBA draft lottery

With top pick and a brighter tomorrow at stake, Griz could really use good bounce

By Geoff Calkins
May 13, 2007

Andy Dolich, president of business operations for the Memphis Grizzlies, was stopped by a fan the other day.

"So," the fans said, "how does it feel to have the No. 1 pick in the draft?"

Dolich pondered this question for a long moment.

"Does he know something I don't know?" he thought.

Nah, couldn't be.

So he explained the NBA Draft Lottery. Or tried his best.

"With certainty, there are two things I cannot explain in an intelligent fashion," Dolich said. "They are the NBA lottery and the plot line to 'Lost.' "

You think he was kidding? Here's an excerpt from an actual an e-mail from a reader named Mark Wright.

"The math analysis looks at the entire draft with multiple variables, or as applied here, what is the Grizzlies one chance of landing in one of four spots," he wrote. "But my analysis is based upon only one variable, the first pick as an independent event with a 25-percent probability."

It went on from there.

Oh, and then Dolich weighed in with this bit of zen.

"It's good that it's so confusing and it's bad that it's so confusing," he said.

Got that, grasshopper?

If not, it's time you do. The most important moment in the history of the Memphis NBA franchise takes place in exactly nine days.

Over the course of those nine days, the CA will tell you everything you need to know about the process. A story a day. Nine stories in nine days. Today, we tackle the essentials of the lottery in the standard question and answer format. For example:

Is it really the most important moment in the history of the Memphis NBA franchise?

If you don't count the debut of Heisley's golden nuggets, yes.

Har. But why is it so important?

Because it would be embarrassing to have a base of 273 season-ticket holders. If the Grizzlies don't get the first or second pick in the draft, it's hard to imagine they'll have a lot more than that. People have lost hope. The ownership situation has chased a lot of fans away. The Grizzlies need the first or second pick to give the franchise a jolt.

Why the first or second pick?

Because this draft has two superstars, Greg Oden of Ohio State and Kevin Durant of Texas. The Grizzlies would prefer to have Oden -- every NBA team would -- but from a marketing perspective it doesn't matter which they get.

Did you ask Dolich if it mattered?

Yes.

What did he say?

"From my perspective, no, it doesn't matter. The debate over which player is better is already raging and it will continue to rage until they are voted into the Hall of Fame. The fuel of either one or two is jet-propelled."

And the fuel of either three or four?

"High test," he said.

The price of gas is really getting to him, isn't it?

Evidently, yes.

But what number will the Grizzlies pick?

Anywhere from first to fourth. The first three picks are chosen by the lottery. After that, the NBA slots in the remaining 11 lottery teams, from the worst record on up. As the team with the worst record in the league, the Grizzlies can't pick any lower than fourth.

So how does the lottery part work?

Like any other lottery, really. The NBA actually rents a lottery machine from a company that manufactures them. The machine spits out four numbered Ping-Pong balls, which is the winning number combination. The team that has the corresponding number combination gets the first pick.

How are the number combinations assigned to teams?

Randomly, by a computer. But the lottery team with the worst record (the Grizzlies) gets 250 of 1,000 possible number combinations. The lottery team with the best record (the Clippers) gets five of 1,000 possible number combinations.

So the Grizzlies' chances of winning the first pick are?

Twenty-five percent. Or, as Dolich said, "seventy-five percent that we won't."

Kill-joy.

"I'm just being realistic," he said.

But we had enough realism during the season. Besides, you said either of the first two picks would do the job. What are the chances that the Grizzlies get the second pick?

That depends on which team gets the first pick.

Huh?

The Celtics had the second-worst record in the league. If the Celtics get the first pick, their 199 number combinations are out of play. The Grizzlies would then have 250 chances out of 801 to get the second pick, or 31.21 percent. On the other extreme, the Clippers had the best record among lottery teams. If the Clippers get the first pick, their 5 number combinations are out of play. The Grizzlies would then have 250 chances out of 995 to get the second pick, or 25.22 percent.

Well, if that's true, how come the NBA says the Grizzlies have a 21.51 chance of getting the second pick?

Because that's accurate right now, before we know what team is going to get the first pick. The league figures this out using something called "conditional probabilities." The Grizzlies might end up having a 31.21 percent chance of getting the second pick if the Celtics get the first pick but, at this moment, considering everything that might happen -- including the Grizzlies getting the first pick and being ineligible to get the second -- their chances of getting the second pick are 21.51 percent.

Did you confirm this with a local math genius?

Yes. His name is Bruce Ryan, he went to Harvard and he teaches math at Memphis University School.

Cool. Are the MUS kids developing an interest in probabilities because of the lottery?

"Actually," said Ryan, "they're interested in probabilities because of poker."

OK, so we know the Grizzlies have a 25 percent chance of getting the first pick and a 21.51 percent chance of getting the second pick. How do you figure out what their chances are of getting either the first or second pick?

You add those two numbers together.

That seems too simple.

Doesn't it though? But it's true, the Grizzlies have a 46.51 percent chance of getting the first or second pick. Which means they'll probably get shafted, like the Trail Blazers last year.

The Trail Blazers got shafted?

They had the worst record in the league and got the fourth pick.

How often does that happen?

Way too often, as it turns out. In the 13 years since 1994, 15 teams have had the best chance to win the NBA lottery. (In both 2002 and 2003, two teams tied for the worst record in the league). Of those 15 teams, only two (Cleveland in 2003 and Orlando in 2004) ended up with the first pick in the draft. Five other teams (Dallas in 1994, the Clippers in 1995, Vancouver in 1999, Chicago in 2002 and Atlanta in 2005) ended up with the second pick in the draft.

Yikes. That's terrible. Are the Grizzlies doing anything to improve their chances?

Naturally. They're having a good-luck charm contest. They've given out nearly 50,000 Ping-Pong balls that double as antenna balls.

How come you don't see them on cars around town?

"It turns out most cars don't have antennas any more," Dolich said.

Ahhh, the best laid plans, and all that. So what else are they doing?

They're painting one of those vast cement balls on the plaza to look like a Ping-Pong ball.

Wow. A 10,000 pound Ping-Pong ball?

"You should see the paddle," Dolich said.

-- Geoff Calkins: 529-2362

Guess Who's Older Today

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

I'm 37 today. Yikes! That makes me late-30s and too close to the big 4-0! Scary... well, not really scary but it's weird to imagine that I'm getting older. That only happens to other people! I still feel no different from being 20... or even yesterday; on the last day of being 36. So far, I 've been mostly indifferent about my age. But today, being 37 seems hmmm... weird. Like I'm suppose to know better... wiser (not!)... well, it was different enough to wake up at past 2am and went shopping on Saks.com to buy myself some of make up (without having to pay tax and shipping) and a handbag and what else, shoes shoes shoes lol. Hey, at least they were all on sale :)

Speaking of presents, these are some of the things I got from the king. The last few years, I usually opt for household items; washer / dryer, oven, fridge, you name it lol. This year, the husband probably decided he was tired of asking me what I wanted... so every time I bought something since the year started, he'd repeat the familiar chant 'that's part of your birthday present'. The poor guy... I'm not kidding when I admit, everyday is my bloody birthday lol! He did well this year though... he got me an Isqueeze (which is AWESOME!) and my Dell flat screen monitor. There is SO much real estate on my screen now - and my desk too! ...and it couldn't be more timely that the tv set in the kitchen that only I usually use died on me yesterday... so yup, guess who got also a flat screen Mitsubishi 57" tv hee hee. Nice!


Thanks to the many friends who've called, sent me e-wishes - one crazy (but sweet) one even posted a blog entry in honor of my birthday :D My lovely niece Emma who left two hilarious messages on our answering machine while I was out made my day! When her mom asked her to say 'Emma sayang auntie Karen' (meaning Emma loves auntie Karen), she not only refused to say it once (as she does as always) she ran away from the phone the second time. When she finally returned and was asked again to repeat after her mom 'Emma sayang auntie Karen', she uttered, loud and clear... 'Uncle Bruce!!' Yes, it's a known fact. Uncle Bruce is certainly her favorite... dammit lol. Thank you all for remembering - or at least enough to care to enter my birth date into your computers :) ...'coz guess what!? I have no idea when any of your birthdays are lol. Yes yes, older and if possible... bitchier! :)

No special plans today - that's why I always say, 'everyday is my birthday!'. I'm going to the gym to keep myself from opening the darn fridge one more time... go get my manicure and pedicure this afternoon, and then have my hot birthday dinner date with the husband at 6:15pm. No idea where he's taking me. For a change, I can't seem to come up with a right guess where he's taking me tonight - and he's thrilled about that :)

What Is My Name?

I've been married to the king now for almost six years... some of his family still can't grasp my name. Now I can understand if I insist they call me by my Chinese name but hello... Karen is hardly a name that anyone in this country can say is 'foreign'. Well, of course the in-laws live in Arkansas; maybe everyone there is named Bubba and Bo lol! (Ok, I know they're not so no crazy emails from Arkansas folks!) It irritates me when my father-in-law's wife keeps calling me 'Sharon' - and then goes on to tell me about her 'friend' Sharon who works at the local clothier and how great she is. I Don't Phucking Care!! She does this practically every time I see her... thankfully, I have not seen her in eons. No love lost. I try to cut down the number of visits to her house since she called me 'huge' to my face under our roof - can you imagine what she'd say under hers!? The other person who deliberately messes up my good name is the six year old niece. It was funny (well not THAT funny) the first time she 'mistook' me as Gram-Mimi (of all people) - the above mentioned person she calls her 'other' grandmother. I'm not childish, 'fighting' with a kid... but omg, you should see the look in her eyes when we make her say my name right - which she does (immediately) when presents are at stake.

I will turn 37 in a few days. Nah, I'm not too overly concerned. Not that it would help anyway. So, as tradition goes, I get a personalized card made SPECIALLY by Mimi. Whoop-d-doo! As usual, she sends the card addressed to me - Mrs Bruce Ryan. Come on already!! Can't she just write my bloody name on it? Even people who send junk mail addresses it correctly. Shit! Just 'coz she has no identity doesn't mean that other women don't. Not to say she's wrong but it's a personalized birthday card for crying out loud! Not that this is anything new however. This is the card she sent me last year when she thought I was black. This year, I'm apparently an eight year old white boy lol! No, nothing wrong with that... except I'm a practically middle-aged Chinese woman lol.

Some people will probably say I should at least appreciate the fact that at least someone remembered. I did reflect on it for a little and like the don't-send-me-invitations-if-I-don't-know-you issue, the I-really-don't-care-about-you issue, I realize that no, why should I appreciate it? She doesn't really care about me in any shape or form - trust me, she doesn't. ...and yes, it's a two way street here. So no, not the slightest appreciation on my part. Besides, the computers at the local retailers too remembered that my birthday falls on the month of May. At least they sent me shopping coupons - now those, I appreciate. Ok, not really lol! They too, will eventually end up where this card is. I'm just saying... if you know me at all, you wouldn't bother sending me a birthday card. Send cash lol! ...like dad does - he obviously knows me best lol!

The King Saves The Day (Again)

Have I ever told you how awesome my husband, the king, is?! Okay, to most of you, I have uttered this a gazillion times and you have already stopped reading and closed the window. But to those of you who continue reading... let me say this one more time. My husband is the best!

Not just because mere minutes ago, he helped in a problem that has exasperated me all day; but because sometimes, when you love someone, you just have to come out and say it loud and clear and give them the props they deserve :)

My husband not only helped me regain access to my flickr account, he went to ground zero of the problem and got me access back into my yahoo account - an account that I'd written off when yahoo wanted me to pay them money to reset the password - and I'd told him no way in hell any password works. It was one of those email accounts I'd created when I was practically a teenager back home and probably entered jibberish for personal information. For some reason, after a few tries, he figured it all out! I still don't know how! When it came to the security question, all it said was "usofa". He looked at me with that bemused yet highly irritated what-kind-of-a-security-question-is-that look and made a few guesses and voila(!), he got it! My goodness, he even remembers the zip code of my address in Tucson from 1989 lol! Where does this man store all that kind of useless information - sure it came in handy today but still... it boggles my mind how his brain works... or do I just have a really small brain and that's why I'm impressed lol. Either way, a full day of being distracted by this stupid yahoo / flickr problem, I can finally heave a big sigh of relief.

...last week, after the piggish wife of his fell asleep practically after dinner, the king actually cleaned up the kitchen, put the leftovers away and let me sleep! Ok, some of you may be used to men like that... but coming from an Asian culture, that is just unheard of! Sure, there are maids to do that kind of stuff (back home) most of the time... but I certainly have not seen the men in my family do that - ever! Not my dad, my brother, none of my male cousins or uncles. That is just not their 'job'; which has nothing to do with socio-economic background at all. I told my mom about it the next night and after accusing (correctly) that I had overate and thus fallen asleep right after the meal, she chuckled. She told me to thank my lucky stars for the man I call 'sweetie' - yes, the husband... not forgetting the original sweetie, my little black pug back home, Lucky :)

One note: I usually can't rescue the king out of his issues like he does me. Fortunately, there aren't too many people who can do that for him so I don't feel overly threatened lol!

Fishing For Gifts (Warning: Lots Of Exlaimation and/or Question Marks)

While there is nothing wrong with that, normally... I used to do that with my dad and now my husband all the time lol... but when I don't know you and not have met you, I do have a serious problem with that.

The husband's father's second wife's grand daughter from her first marriage is graduating from college. Big phucking deal! So has the rest of the American population - yes, even the really stupid ones... this might be the second or third 'invitation' or 'announcement' we've gotten from these two sisters. Why(?!), I don't know. I mean, I know(!)... they're trying to get money out of us, of course! But hello!??! Who are these people who keep sending us these annoying kind of mail?! The husband has met them once at his sister's wedding almost ten years ago. That's it! They were not invited to our wedding. In fact, the thought of inviting them NEVER occured to us. They are NOT family. ...and to be quite honest, even 'some' family who were invited weren't that interested lol! But no... these people who keep sending these 'notices' are not even mere acquaintance for crying out loud! They wouldn't recognize neither of us if we walked right by us on the street... might not even give us directions if we asked hahahaha! Okay, I'm being difficult but you get what I mean. It's disgusting! She's graduating from college and sending these silly things out to strangers... doesn't that embarass her?! Gawd I'm embarassed for her!


Of course we're not sending crap to her. It's not personal - so if you're reading this... oh what's your name - gotta' go to the trash and get the card and see what her name is (lol)... Tara... don't take it personally lol. We didn't send your sister anything either hahaha! Besides, haven't you guys gotten enough from your rich grandmother (they are the ones who when each of them turned the legal age, wanted to spend it with their rich grandmother and psuedo grandfather, my husband's father. I mean... GET A PHUCKING LIFE ALREADY! Even I wouldn't make it THAT obvious lol! What do you need from us!? Maybe your crazy grandmother put you up to this... but come on already! You're graduating from college... I'd think you have developed half a brain to make simple decisions about who to send mail like that to. Yeesh!

Of course, mail like this always makes me question why Americans send out announcements as such. People who care will ask or be informed when they're on the phone or via email... you know... people who care will keep in contact with you 'coz they want to. ...and those who don't ask, they don't care. Trust me. Besides, when you graduate from high school or college, what business is that of anyone outside the immediate family?! High school grads especially. Uh... what's the big deal?! You want people to give you a graduating gift 'coz you're graduating from bloody high school?! OMG - that is soooo sorry ass! It's just high school... is this graduation going to be the highest point of your life!? ...and that gawd awful looking 'class ring' that Americans wear... high school or college... double YUK!!!!!!

Ok, I've said my piece about these tacky people lol. Can you blame me? Maybe it's a difference in culture... maybe it's just the husband and I who are selfish and don't care about anything that doesn't involve us lol. But I would like to add that there are kids out there we care about... who are not blood relatives. Emily Schulze for example. We like her and she is graduating from high school next month and we're going to her party in Seattle. So we're not really as cold blooded as you think we are lol. Yes yes, maybe I am... but not the king lol.

Fun At Germantown Business Expo...

Today, after my workout at Germantown Centre (and no, I stopped losing weight months ago), I was dragged by my Russian friend, Natasia, to go check out the Germantown Business Expo that was running in the basketball courts. I didn't have anything else better to do so I went.

First thing I saw when I walked into the event hall...

...uh huh... my my don't we have a bunch of very educated local businesses in town lol! I pointed it out to Natasia and she looked like me like 'huh?'. Ok, I think I've been hanging out with the king too much... 'coz I turned around and the next booth I see... you'd think that if you own a business or run a business, you'd know how to spell 'sign'! ...or at least use spell check?!?! AIYOH!

I have never been to any business expos before. I mean... why?! So you can see a bunch of booths with people talking amongst themselves and a table filled with not-so-goodies that you will take on impulse and trash them when you get home? ...and while most people were nice and courteous enough, we also had people like this condescending bitch (picture below with Natasia) from the Hilton Select Group who was so rude to Natasia I wanted to bop her one. Natasia was asking a couple of questions about the hotel and this woman was not only short, she brushed Natasia to one side when other people came over to the booth. Thankfully, Natasia speaks loud lol and said in her strong Russian accent, 'I'm note don speaking!' I wanted to laugh out loud. Ok, I did lol. Natasia then insisted on playing the win-a-goldfish game. She wanted to win the fish to feed it to the fishes in her fish tank, she admitted aloud lol! So she did. I mean, a line of people in front of us couldn't even get close - and neither could I. ...and here is Natasia... she wins the silly fish on her first try. Boy, the look on Miss Redneck. It was too cool!


It was funny to see a bunch of my fellow exercisers walk into this expo not-as-blindly as I did and were ready to go free shopping. The Indian girls in particular - yes, again, it's the Indian with the dot on the forehead, not the casino ones - went to town and by the third booth, had a big enough bag to get a week's of grocery. But Natasia beat them all hands down at the end of ninety minutes lol!

The whole thing was quite a comedy fest to me actually... like when I got to ask a few questions to the Direct TV folks... none of which they could answer of course. When they eagerly presented me with a pamphlet, they handed me a Korean languaged one lol. I, of course was asking about their Chinese channels. Maybe it just says on my forehead 'I love Korean drama' lol. Then there were the very friendly people at the Commercial Appeal booth (local newspapers). When they saw me taking a picture of the cute comic strip umbrella they were giving away, one of them (the Barbie looking one) jumped in front of me and exclaimed (yes, she did exclaim, really!) "you could have the umbrella for a one year subscription!!". I looked back, all bright eyed and almost as excitedly as she approached me, "no thank you - we were the ones who called to ask you to stop delivering free newspapers to us a few months ago". Boy, I am such a bitch!!! LOL! Besides, it wasn't even that cute an umbrella. The ten Chinese yuan umbrella I bought in Shanghai (picture below) is much cuter :)


It really wasn't all bad... we had fun spinning the wheel-of-free-stuff at Chik Fil-A... we got a free can of the limited edition, due out this summer, Pepsi Summer Mix... sampled too much food; yes, a catering company was there and they had the chocolate fountain out - smart! So was Neely's BBQ who offered us a bbq sandwich (yum but it would have been too messy), Sweet Peppers Deli
was also there but offered nothing except a photo shot of Peppers himself...
and the group from Super Suppers served peanut butter fudge and black bean corn chicken salad on tortilla chips. Can't ever go wrong with free food :)

Hell Is More Fun

It's too easy for me to get in trouble. Way too easy. This was the conversation I had with this old lady at the gym who insisted on starting a conversation with of-all-people, moi. Didn't her mother teach her not to speak to strangers?! :D

She: I've been looking at your bag - what does it mean?
Me: Mean?
She: Well it's got a bunch of characters on it and it's very unique.
Me: It's hell...
She: Hey-ell? Now why would you want a bag that says heyell?
Me: 'Coz it's more fun
She: Now why would you say heyll is more fun? That's silly!
Me: 'Coz all Americans seem to think they're gonna' go to heaven
She: You're funny... (eyeing me suspiciously while walking away)
Me: (thinking) should have taken a jab on religious people here instead but oh well...

This is the bag that has been quite the topic at the gym. Young people love it, old people frown upon it and kids think it's Pokemon lol.

I already have another one of these Le Sportsac Tokidoki bags to replace this one (no, of course it's not heaven lol) but I'm waiting for this one to wear out it's novelty :)

Highlight Of Singapore Day

This will be the first time (and probably the last lol) that you'd ever hear me cheering the fact that someone (well, not anyone of course - this was the Deputy Prime Minister of Singapore, Mr Wong Kan Seng) mentioned Memphis :) It was pretty cool considering only TWO people flew out from Memphis and it was us hee hee

Sun Burnt At Central Park

...so the Singapore Day came and went and as low as our expectations were, I can safely say we had a very nice time. The glitches were many but hopefully, the organizers will have learnt from this one and conduct a smoother experiance for Singaporeans attending future similar events.

Saturday morning started out very slowly and a little painful after a night out with Boon, Alycia, Yishen and Julia at a small izakaya in the East Village called Kasadela. Three bottles of sake (bloody waitress warned the king 'your wife drank a lot' arrgh), some beer and a lot of food later (I suppose it beats her saying 'your fat wife ate a lot' lol), the king and I headed back to the hotel only to stop unexpectedly at Carnagie Deli. I don't think we were hungry - but Japanese drinking culture has trained our palettes to crave ramen after a late night out lol. Plus I had to take the biggest piss of my life. Yes, truly - it was THE biggest! ...and of course we couldn't leave without ordering an infamously big sandich. Hey - don't judge us! We were drunk - ok, I was drunk! ...and not used to drinking so much unfiltered and unpasturized sake. So after two bites into my awesome burger (with nothing but raw onion - the way I like my burgers) and a couple of fries, I was ready for bed. That was three in the morning.

I find myself standing under the shower at 6:10am... trying to wash the alcohol out of my brain with a really hot shower. It was not a hangover but I was literally still drunk then! The king got up shortly after I got dressed. We were tired already before the day began. Nothing a three shot espresso at Starbucks couldn't help lol. Gen, who lives in the city came to meet us at the hotel and the three of us, in full Singapore style, trotted out of our hotel way before 9am for the 10:30am event at central park; a short two block walk away from Le Parker Meridian.

It was the perfect day for an outdoor event. Blue skies, mild temperature (well, at 8 in the morning it was still pretty mild) and of course, the three of us got to Wollman Rink too early. The only people at the park were dog owners (and their dogs of course, DUH!), a bunch of security for the Singapore Day event and a bunch of young Singaporean helpers for the occasion in bright Sunkist orange tees who looked pretty lost themselves. It was slow and nobody - not even the friendly security guy - knew what was going on. We hung out for a little, killed some time at Starbucks in Trump Tower and by the time we got back at almost ten, there was a kind of line slowly forming. People huddled around the entrance but not really standing in line for fear of being called 'kiasu' - directly translated from hokkien (a Chinese dialect) - 'afraid of losing'. But. kiasu or not, we of course quickly found the most strategic line (there were about ten people in line) and people just followed behind us instantaneously. Before we knew it, this was what we saw when we turned around.

The event started 30 mins later then the predicted 10:30am but once it started moving, it was smooth and pretty uneventful. We all got stamped with a 'redeemed' stamp on our hands and a red 'I heart SG' being Singaporean and the king got the black version. It was most exciting... well, not really but the smell of food lured us around the corner into the real event space where an empty stage stood at one end and a good dozen stalls stood at another. The rest in the middle was empty concrete space. That's right, no chairs, no benches, no tables, nothing. But without much ado, the three of us hurried into the first line. The chwee kueh line. We each got one chwee kueh (yes ONE), got out of line, ate it and went on to the chicken rice line. These lines were so short we got spoiled very quickly. One thing we all noticed imediately, serviettes, chilli sambal, garnish and plastic-silverware were all free flow. WAH! How un-Singaporean-like lol! Even the king held on to his first set of chopsticks for fear of them running out. Bloody kiasu angmoh!! :D


Within an hour, the crowd multiplied by severel hundreds then thousands and the heat also multiplied in it's intensity. By the time the king had his mutton prata and we got our laksa, we were drained and sun burnt. Yes, it turned out that the king in all his ang moh style, got burnt on his forehead, nose and neck. I got burnt on my chest area (where else lol) and Gen who wore her little pretty ballerina flats now has feet that are shaped like she's wearing her shoes constantly. It was hilarious!

All in all, we had a nice time together; eating, standing in line, eating, standing in line... you get the idea. The sucky ass not-so-goody, goody bag was worst then I predicted lol! It was so lame it's the biggest joke among the Singaporeans who attended this day. Still, a bag of five stones, a pack of rubber bands to make yourself a ye-ye/zero point, some fridge magnets and a pack of mints in a big ass bag marked 'I heart Sg' was more sad then anything I could have imagine. But, there was a 20% discount off OSIM products (osim now owns Brookstone) and so... we got ourselves an isqueeze :D Something good actually came out of that bag - hard to imagine... lol!

I eagerly wait for the second Singapore Day - if there's gonna' be another one, that is. Must have cost Singapore tax payers a bunch! But hey, if they're trying to do everything to lure some of us back, well, they gotta' do a lot more than just twelve hawkers, Kit Chan or Hossan Leong - WE WANT SELENA TAN (inside joke)... and a much more luxurious goody bag hahahaha!

Off To NYC

It's finally Friday! My goodness, how I've waited for this day since we returned from Seattle. It's been awhile since I last went to New York City to hang out. The king will come along this time. Yes, it's the much awaited first inaugural Singapore Day tomorrow at Central Park. It should be interesting though the three of us, with each passing day, have lower expectations then the last. Sad isn't it?! When I heard that the Prime Minister's Office was organizing this event (well, the OSU is part of the PM's office) I had high hopes. I mean, it's a bunch of smart and kiasu Singaporean sewer serpents (civil servants). For sure it'll be seriously well organized. Oh well, so far, it's been one glitch after another on their website. From a free-flow come-as-you-are open-event at Bryant Park, it became a for-registered-Singaporeans only but because of improper wordings on their website, it is now, if-you-are-not-a-Singaporean-but-registered-before-the-rules-changed-come-anyway. Aggravating. So a bunch of Singaporeans who have planned on going but did not register for the goodie bags prior to the change no longer are able to go to this event 'coz they have closed registrations. Sad especially if you live in the city and I'm sure the smell of the food will be detected miles away lol. Ouch!

Tonight, we're meeting up with Boon. Boon is my baby brother's friend back from RJC. I don't remember when was the last time I saw Boon... donkey years ago, of course, but it'll be fun. We're going to an izakaya called Kasadela. I'm sure we'll have fun. Good food, good sake, nice company... can't go wrong.

Tomorrow of course will be Singapore Day itself and then we head back to Memphis Sunday afternoon - not without brunch and tah bao'ing (打包) stuff from Bo Ky and Tai Pan lol! It's my NYC-Chinatown tradition :)

Time to go pick the husband up from school and head to the airport!

I Love Twitter

Twitter (the little twitter box on the right hand corner in this blog - scroll down) is all pretty self-explanatory. Nothing to 'get into'. You follow your friends - or people you find interesting ie, fake Borat or fake and very vain, David Hasselhoff - even a fake Bill Clinton lol!

So join the king (here) and I (here), our friends and their friends (by clicking on their pictures at our sites) and see what we're all doing, saying or where we're going 'live' :D

Plus, if you're tired of texting your friends, it's always good to have somewhere/someone to text when you're sitting/standing around waiting on something to happen :) ...or when you just want to bitch and no one around you wants to listen - that seems to happen to me a lot lol!

Last Night @ Sushi

Our second night in a row at Sekisui Collierville. Like the husband says, I, too, feel like we're cheating on Sekisui Cordova lol. Nonetheless, I suppose Jimmy Ishi gets the last laugh (he is owner of all the Sekisui restaurants)...

We sort of twittered down a play by play at dinner from our cellphones. Our delicious dinner that consisted of pretty good sashimi (for Memphis standards) and a couple of homemade Taiwanese 'cakes' and dumplings familiar to me even though I am not from Taiwan. However, the company consisting of a three couple crowd with us at the sushi bar was far from desirable.

kryan70 sushi/- taiwanese tapas for dinner at sekisui about 20 hours ago from web

brucery - Severe thunderstorm warning, possible hail... time to head out for dinner. :)

kryan70 - Waiting @ sekisui 4 sushi bar

brucery - Inauspicious start - lost reservation. It has to get better from here?

brucery - Listening to drunk mountain tortoises tell loud stories

brucery - Woman asks sushi chef to write her name in Japanese, not realizing he's Taiwanese and knows none

kryan70 - Dumbass people @ sushi bar with us...

kryan70 - Why don't these fools leave?! So not funny and obnoxious!

kryan70 - Qotd: ' i'm like june cleaver with my kids ' - says one dumbass to another

brucery - About to leave the braintrust here at the sushi bar and go get ice cream.

brucery - Talking with ADD sushi chef who always interrupts me and never finishes his own sentences

brucery - At Schnuck's buying ice cream. Yes, we have a grocery called Schnuck's. Mmm ice cream

kryan70 - home in one piece! crazy night at sushi - irritating stupid drunk driving locals who took their wine to go...

Lost Videos

In case you're looking for the videos that were posted last month from our (drunk) adventures in Shinjuku... well, you might have to go subscribe to the king's account here.

Funny thing: His students found his crazy videos today (probably via the spelling bee one he had originally) and the word got around and his principal - not the idiot headmaster, thankfully - suggested maybe he took it off the public eye before word got around to the religious hypocrite of a fool(s) - there are a bunch of them in school. Unfortunately, that has affected my blog too. Looks like I need to take videos for my own blog from now on.

So from less then ten views it initially had (he only has two subscribers lol), a couple of his videos has gotten more than 50 hits today lol. One student boldly added him as subscriber hahahaha! Bloody audacity lol!

Update On Singapore Day

While I have been anticipating my trip to New York City (next weekend) to 'celebrate' the first ever Singapore Day with my fellow Singaporeans - ok, I'd admit, it's for the food (what's new?!); it hasn't been easy dealing with the bloody organizers. Not directly per se... but you'd understand why...

Today, seven days from d-day, I hear, not from their official website, but an email from a New York City expat group that I subscribe to on yahoo, that Singapore Day has moved their location from Bryant Park to Wollman Rink at Central Park. What?! The email certainly woke me up this morning. I was not the least bit amused. While it's fine for people living in the city and even for those driving up from surrounding cities for the day, people like the king and I who are flying out there made hotel reservations at the Bryant Park hotel namely for this event! Ok, we might be the only idiots flying to NYC for this event... actually, no... I know people flying in from California and Nevada, so if you want to talk about insanity, they're more insane then we are 'coz they're farther away :) Their reason for changing location - Bryant Park is surrounded by roads and with the 'overwhelming' response, they don't want people on the streets. Like we are such idiots omg! So overwhelming is the response, a newspaper article said 5000, and this morning, one article say 3000 and their official website, expecting a total of one thousand of us. ...not only that, they seem to change the hours of this event constantly. Now, there are different sites saying it starts at 10am, some say 11am... who knows what the official website says. One more stupid thing. Goody bags are only for Singaporeans! WHAT!? Come on! Ok, so the goody bag might only contain a face towel and a bottle of water (you don't know Singaporeans lol) but that is being so lame and calculative! It's completely moronic! But as the king says, 'if they want to be completely stupid, you might as well get a goody bag for it' hahahaha! ...so I have to bring my bloody passport?! Dumbasses!

Obviously, we've changed our hotel reservations and expedia was nice enough to accomodate us without penalty - for a change lol. So let's see what happens from here. Considering they had an article in the Singapore newspaper about importing twelve hawkers from home to Bryant Park to cook us goodies just days ago, who knows what other plans might change. Any more changes I'm dissin' the event and I'm going to Gyu Kaku for some yummy looking yakiniku lol!

When I'm Working Out...

Do you ever wonder what people are thinking about while working out? I mean, sure, they have their earphones plugged-in to their ipods, CNN, Good Morning America... via the exercise machines. But what are they really thinking about when their minds start drifting...

Well, I can't tell you what most people are thinking about but other then concentrating on the second hand tick away too too slowly on the clock when I'm in spinning class, getting frustrated at every rock song being played (noisy rock songs - they sound so angry(!) - make me want to break the bikes) and wishing the damn bikes would stop screeching (they are not very well maintained) I think of, what else, lunch lol. Yes, food. The reason why I work out. Well, okay, that's not actually accurate. I work out to lose weight so I can fit into my clothes better. So far, there's been very slight difference... but the fact that I'm working out makes my family happy. I guess they don't want me to drop dead or something lol. But I do think about food a lot while I'm working out. My lunch in particular... sometimes, the apple or banana sitting in my bag waiting for class to be over so I can eat it. Or even the sorry ass bottle of water screaming out for some attention right after each song is over - how I crave water - yes, only during spinning class.

Am I addicted to food? The ladies on The View say I am. Of course, they also say I'm depressed and use sugar as a cover-up for my negative emotions. I should stop watching them lol. I'm beginning to believe them - sometimes. I still hate that Hasselback girl - whatever her name is. I refuse to learn it. Everyone else is fine. Even crazy Rosie. The young one just gets to me. ...but back to me... I must be the happiest depressed person around if they are right. Besides, what do I have to be depressed about? Oh, the neighborhood grocery store is out of my ice cream - maybe that's something to be depressed about. Ok, not really. But just 'coz a person is overweight; does that mean they're addicted to food or using food to cover up some form malfuctioning emotions? I like food. I love yummy food. But I won't just eat any bloody thing that you put in front of me. Okay, I might, but I wouldn't enjoy it.

When I'm working out, I'm also thinking (and watching from the corner of my eye) the person next to me. ...'coz you know, everybody's got a story. More importantly, are they going faster then me? Even if they're 93 year older then me, I want to beat them! Same as when I'm in the pool. Nobody beats me! ...and if they do, well, I guess they're just showing off lol. I suppose this sums up what my mind does most of the time when not thinking about food. Absolutely nothing! :D ...I need a snack lol

Easter 2007 In Seattle

We've been in the city since early Friday afternoon. The flight here on American was painless enough with the upgrade; though the flight back, executive platinum or not, we're gonna' have to go cattle class. Damn those people who are actually paying to go first class lol.

It's been a fun-filled past two full days. We're hanging out with good friends and obviously, like in Tokyo, that includes good food and cocktails :) Mmmm... cocktaayles!

Traditionally, the first meal we have upon arriving (usually lunch) - you guessed it - Shultzy's Sausage. Excuse me, the now bigger, new and improved Shultzy's Sausage!! JJ (Japanese Julie), who had lunch already, joined us and had fries (only); except these are the best fries in the world. Yes, of course I'm serious. I never joke about my food :) ...and with the very unexpected 80 degree heat, we were too easily seduced by Don's vodka-cranberry-lemonade. Yumz! I cleaned my plate swiftly and got to see familiar faces and of course, marvelled at how our godson continues to grow vertically.

...and traditionally, the king gets his haircut at Gary Manuel - next to his old apartment. Yes, we live in Memphis and he gets his haircut in Seattle and/or Tokyo lol. So while the king was busy, JJ and I took the drive over to ID (International District / Chinatown). Uwajimaya was uneventful though still fun... other than the fancily packed fresh produce like in Japan, live sea urchin as and when you'd like some, just-out-of-the-oven-baked Asian pastries, a whole aisle of sake and sochu... we can basically get everything I need back in Tennessee. Ok, I'll admit it. I'm always envious of the people who live in Seattle or cities with big Asian markets. It'll be a dream come true for me! Honestly!

Dinner at Saito's turned out be a good decision. I had the best uni I've had outside Japan and boy, was I thrilled :) Yes, by now, you realize that (good) sea urchin is one of my favorite things to eat. The king was sweet and got extra orders and after everyone had one more, I was left with the rest of the order. Mmmm... oooooooooo-niiiiiii! :) It turned out to be a relatively early night. Considering we had a 6am flight, woke up at 2am to pack (that would be Seattle time, midnight) and do the usual morning errands before taking off, we were beat. So dinner and cocktails ended at 11pm...

Day two, my shopping day. All retail stores are closed on Easter Sunday in Seattle (though I noticed Urban Outfitters, Addidas and Old Navy opened later). I had to do my thang at Eileen Fisher and Nordstrom. Unfortunately, both stores were a little disappointing. Of course I got stuff from EF but not overly satisfying... I got absolutely nothing from Nordstrom. No shoes, no bags :( The king did say to go ahead with all clothing but curb-it on the rest hahahhaa. I know, it shouldn't be Christmas everyday :) I did, however, surprisingly, find two pairs of casual sneakers at Nordstrom Rack. Happy happy joy joy!

The dinner that night at Metropolitan Grill. An old Seattle joint where the financiers of the city come and get their meat on. Omg, I, of all people got the 24oz of rib eye! Needless to say, the Shulze family got to have some serious leftovers. The only person who finished his steak was fifteen year old William, who at Easter dinner table the next evening, was still fantacizing about his meal from the night before lol. Yes, it was that good and you gotta' get the bananas foster for dessert. YUM!

Most of Easter Sunday morning was spent in the hotel room recovering from the late-night drinking session we had (yes, after the very heavy meal we had) with JJ at Marjeries. We hung out with a friend of JJ's, Peter, who was back in town for business (Amazon employee who works in Cape Town) and had a nice few hours of mojitos and good laughs. We finally left when JJ and boyfriend, Yoshi came to pick us up for dim sum brunch at O'Asian. Wow, thus far, my favorite dim sum place in town. ...and the rest of the day, we hung out with the Shulze family, their employees, friends and neighbors, easter egg hunting - I only found three eggs and no golden egg :( - but the king and I won at the gambling box later that evening lol!

All in all, another fun long weekend in Seattle. But that's no surprise anymore.

My Stalker Is Back

...I don't know if I should call her my stalker or my lesbian lover (read her email and you'd understand) lol. Either way, it's bloody disturbing for someone I call an ex-friend.

Some background info: we met about two years after I first moved to Tennessee. We were friends for less then two years. She was the boss among the three of us who hung out often. She became a dick right before she moved away. She came back and became a bigger ass! I cut her off cold turkey. She went back to W. Virginia and came back for yet another visit. By now, I'd cut her off. She left flowers at our front door (that went here) and a five page letter similar to the email below. ...and now, she's back.

So, ok. After you didn't respond to my letter last September, I tried to just go on and forget about it. I promised to leave you alone and I have. Everything was fine.

And then the American Idol season started. Every week I was thinking about you and missing the comments I used to hear about the contestants. Again, I tried to put it out of my mind and just leave you alone. My problem, not yours.

I was doing ok with that and then last night I had a dream where we were shopping at the mall and having lunch and everything was normal, like it always had been. It was so great being with you again (if only in my mind), that I had to write and tell you that I'm missing you a lot.

I mostly miss your sense of humor and laughing with you. I miss the yummy food you used to make for me that I know was made with love and friendship. I miss just hanging out and being with each other. I miss the unique way you have of seeing things and the advice you would give me. I miss your emails and hearing about your latest trip and adventure and about your niece and other family. I miss smiling when I think of you instead of having a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Again, I'm telling you that I would never deliberately say or do anything that would hurt or insult you. I care about you and respect you and just plain like you so much!!! I had my 50th birthday and you weren't a part of it. I missed you. Turning 50 has made me stop and reconsider my life both past and future. I honestly have very few regrets in my life, but losing your friendship tops my list. I've been having some health problems again and I would hate for something to happen to me and not have told you yet again how important you and your friendship are to me.

I know that we can't be friends in the same way. I moved. My friendship with Julie has changed. But we still talk on the phone a couple times a month and email each other. We try to get together when we can. We care about each other. She is planning on coming to see me this summer. How great it would be if you could come with her.

Do you think you might start out by emailing me a little now and then? We could try to repair things and start again. I MISS YOU! Please think about it.

Again, I'll wait to hear from you.

Stalker? Lesbian wannabe? No self-respect? You decide.

A Redneck Birthday

Poor Maria, practically still fresh from Maine, experiancing her first traumatic redneck birthday from the gang at the gym. They fully tp'd (toilet papered) her car, gave her 28 full-power spanks on her bum while held down by Ms Muscles, AD. All that and a birthday sign that read 'Happy Birthday Jackass!' How special she must feel lol.



...plus extra toilet paper hanging by the door just-in-case :)

Security drove by while Ms all-dat-'n-a-bag-of-chips was tp'ing the car and exclaimed 'I don't know if I should keep quiet or join you!' Welcome to redneckville Maria! You are truly loved :)